March 6, 2003 0

By in Uncategorized

famous women in history part 2:

um…oops! i said i would post this days ago, but you should know me by now…i had to blow off studying for mardi gras & then i had to take my midterm today (& i kicked it’s ass, mind you). but because i love you so much, here i am, in the computer lab no less, to bring you the oh-so-awaited conclusion!

heidi fleiss

heidi fleiss

heidi fleiss, the hollywood madam. this chick organized one of the largest high class prostitution ring in hollywood. hell, she was a pimp & even i would have been one of her call girls. this scandal was huge because there happened to be a pretty notorious client list, filled with famous important people who didn’t want anyone to know they had to pay for pussy. & heidi started it all. a true role model for the business-minded woman. she became a media celeb instantly, & after getting out of prison, she successfully started her heidi fashion line & sex tips videos. this, my friends, is a woman out pursuing the american dream.

andrea yates

andrea yates

ok, so she was a crazy religious lady…but we can’t all be perfect. she would have made betty friedan & any feminist proud with her anti-motherhood statement. a friend of the pro-choicers, she supported abortion in about the 153 trimester. ok, lets face it. if you were stuck at home with 5 boys all day every day, you would have gone apeshit & drowned them, too. i don’t plan on having more than 2 little bastards, & i’m pretty convinced there’s a high chance i will drown them. & how can anyone say what she did was a bad thing? the kids were all named after people in the bible, & they probably would have grown up to be bible thumping christian freaks anyway, so she did the world a favor. so she is definitely a notable woman in my eyes.

traci lords

traci lords

traci i love you! really i do. she is by far my favorite porn star, as she should be yours. dominating the porn scene in the 1980s, this little vixen was only 15 when she started! in fact, she was only of legal age for one movie, & she fooled everyone. traci rocked the biggest scandal in porn history…you go girl! i’ve seen her movies…although i uh…don’t have them on my computer or anything like that, cuz that would like, be bad…& she is a wonderful actress! most people thought of her as a word that rhymes with ‘witch’ & starts with a ‘b’ but i think she’s swell. she’s also one of the few in the industry to break a mainstream career, staring in really bad, yet strangely erotic “mask-fetish” softcore movies.

lorena bobbit

lorena bobbit

you knew this one was coming. lorena bobbit is a hero in many women’s eyes. i know i love to threaten boys with the old “if you do that i’ll pull a lorena bobbit on you” line. this chick didn’t take shit from her abusive, cheating, ass-faced husband. while most women would go cry & take it, or file for divorce, she did the ultimate…cut off his penis! god, what a role model. she then drove out to a field & chucked it out the window. & the best part about that whole story was that she was acquitted! god bless the legal system. lorena bobbit, you truly are the most influential woman in history.

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