January 8, 2003 0

By in Uncategorized

i found this & i liked it

hmm, i’m in a peculiar mood right now. i get like this sometimes, & it doesn’t do any good cuz it rarely sticks. so here’s a little moment of clarity. i’m feeling ok about the future. i’m ready to move on to that next phase in life. i guess it’s called growing up, but yeah, it’s like everything is going to be ok & things will completely change & i’m all right with that. see, i’m one who likes to dwell in the past & i try to resist change with all my might. i’m graduating college in a few short months, & my world is going to completely change. fuck, i wish it was still the year 2000…one fucking great year…but it’s not, & it never will be again. & i might just actually be accepting that, as much as i long for what once was. i didn’t want to change, & maybe i didn’t, but everything else did. i felt the same way about high school. i still reminisce about the good old days, but once i started college it just wasn’t the same. & i moved on. i had no choice really.

i want to know everything. i want everything to go exactly as i plan it. & i thought i had it all planned out. i was pushing for something just because i needed something to look forward to. but nothing ever goes as planned. & you’ll drive yourself crazy if you think it will. hell, trying to mold your train of thought into this new mentality will drive you crazy, but at least it makes things easier later on. christ, listen to me…i really am going through that mid-mid-life crisis. i don’t know where i’m going with this, all i really wanted to say was that i’m looking forward to getting the hell out of here & starting a new path in life. although i don’t know how i’m gonna handle not getting 3 months off of work in the summer, a week for spring break, fall break, & in-service days. wow that sucks. looks like someone will be trying to relive old memories to escape the horrible reality of post-college life. told you these moments of clarity never last.

anyway, i peed on my sweater tie by accident. that really pissed me off. but i guess it’s better than being pissed on HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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