December 21, 2001 0

By in Uncategorized

how do you break a microwave? besides the obvious throwing it out the window, how does a microwave break when 1 person uses it as directed…say 5 times a day? i break vacuum cleaners all the time, but i understand that being that i like to vacuum the same spot over & over again for hours straight. but i’m really confused about the microwave…& in fact i’m scared! i can’t live without a microwave. almost everything i eat at one point goes into the microwave. i’d sell my oven (well, if it wasn’t a part of my apartment) & my toaster…maybe the coffee maker to make sure my microwave was ok & functioning. so lets go back to the events of last night & try to piece together what happened:

  • i put maruchan instant lunch in the microwave for 2 minutes
  • i let it stand
  • it spilled all over my glass revolver thinger in the microwave
  • i took that out to wash it off in the sink
  • i realized my shit wasn’t hot enough & i stuck the instant lunch in the back corner, out of the way of the revolver minus the glass plate
  • it started going for a second the all the lights went out
  • i said “oh fuck”
  • nothing happened
  • i unplugged it & prayed to god it would work today when i plugged it back in

so this brings us to the present. i’m afraid to plug it back in because i i don’t know what i will do if the lights don’t come back on & it still wont work. you see, in all aspects of my life, if there is a problem i will push it aside & pretend that if i don’t know what’s wrong that something really wont be wrong. great logic indeed. see, if i don’t know that it’s broken there’s a chance it wont be. so it could be working, ok?? but if i try it & find out it doesn’t work, my delusion will be shattered & i will know. they say the holidays are depressing for some people. i don’t know if i can handle this in such times of stress. this might just push me over the edge.

but hey, if it’s broken, what better time of year to get a new one for free! mommy, i might need a new microwave. let’e hope this isn’t the case, as i’ve grown very attached to my microwave. we’ve had good times.

i am scared.

ok, so maybe i wont take the plunge & head off into the great gig in the sky just yet. it seems that some people aren’t hanging their head in shame after finding shocking results on the cam girl quiz.


a proud rhiannon wannabe!


keep them coming, kids!

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