November 30, 2001 0

By in Uncategorized

hi i’m sober now. anyway, lets check the mailbag:

I just wanted to say you have to be the goddess of the web girls I have seem. The smile is enough to make me come and if I could only be the guy you could give a blow job to on camera that would be a dream come true. Would you send me some picture of your ass to see what it looks like, that must be at least a million dollar ass. Take care the love of my web cam girls.

ok, flattery & sucking up may get you far in the webcam world, but when it’s in regards to me, it only hurts you. i’m sick of the survivorcam what is the worst thing you will do on cam thing because you people wont shut up about it. i will never give a blowjob on cam, i hate blowjobs, i hate sex, i don’t really like men. & before you start wondering which team i bat for, i don’t like girls either. the gay dude from taxi cab confessions said the best thing ever. “women are pigs.” i love that line, i can’t get enough of it. it makes me giggle. but anyway, i was thinking about writing about my naked imposter. thanks to that email i think i will write about it. but instead of showing the whole picture & my replica where you get to see me in granny undies i have now decided to deny any ass shots. thank you, come again.

so lets get this rolling.

it’s always assumed that you have some twin wandering around out there. with the 9320750 billion people on the planet you know there’s gotta be someone who looks just like you. so of course online people are always finding pictures & saying “hey this looks like you!” & well, it never does. but one day one of my buddies told me he’d found this picture of some naked passed out chick who looked exactly like me. so of course i’m like let me see!!! he sends it over & first response was christ, that fucking looks like me. it kinda freaked me out. go figure, my twin has to be some dumbass chick who passes out naked & has these pictures on the net. just my luck. so anyway, i was like, wow, ok this is scary. but i don’t know what i look like from that angle so curiosity killed the cat & i had to get a look.

naked imposter yours truly

i don’t like my profile…the key is the nose there. yeah, so, this chick is real skinny like me. i dunno though, my thighs & butt looked bigger. imagine that. i think my hair is better, too. oh & there’s my tattoo. thank god it’s not me.

so there’s my twin. fuck you, twin. i’m always the last man standing & i hardly ever crash at random people’s places…& i never get naked. i really don’t. not even in the shower. so…thank you, twin for reminding me why i don’t do that.

wait…what? I.GIVE.UP.

don’t come here anymore you psychopaths. ok?!?! yeah, what the fuck is my homepage’s gay problem. fuck.

hey. lets talk about something really cool! i’m a “manager” now. i’m a boss, i’m the one with the whip, i’m the one in control. well, that’s what they want me to believe. i “manage” this really fucking cool band. go listen to them right now. please. so they leave me alone. if you’re on drugs, listen now. if you wish you were on drugs, listen now. if you are opposed to drugs, definitely listen now. if any of the aforementioned groups don’t apply to you, listen now. ok??

mr mittens

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