Archive for November, 2001

November 30, 2001 0

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hi i’m sober now. anyway, lets check the mailbag:

I just wanted to say you have to be the goddess of the web girls I have seem. The smile is enough to make me come and if I could only be the guy you could give a blow job to on camera that would be a dream come true. Would you send me some picture of your ass to see what it looks like, that must be at least a million dollar ass. Take care the love of my web cam girls.

ok, flattery & sucking up may get you far in the webcam world, but when it’s in regards to me, it only hurts you. i’m sick of the survivorcam what is the worst thing you will do on cam thing because you people wont shut up about it. i will never give a blowjob on cam, i hate blowjobs, i hate sex, i don’t really like men. & before you start wondering which team i bat for, i don’t like girls either. the gay dude from taxi cab confessions said the best thing ever. “women are pigs.” i love that line, i can’t get enough of it. it makes me giggle. but anyway, i was thinking about writing about my naked imposter. thanks to that email i think i will write about it. but instead of showing the whole picture & my replica where you get to see me in granny undies i have now decided to deny any ass shots. thank you, come again.

so lets get this rolling.

it’s always assumed that you have some twin wandering around out there. with the 9320750 billion people on the planet you know there’s gotta be someone who looks just like you. so of course online people are always finding pictures & saying “hey this looks like you!” & well, it never does. but one day one of my buddies told me he’d found this picture of some naked passed out chick who looked exactly like me. so of course i’m like let me see!!! he sends it over & first response was christ, that fucking looks like me. it kinda freaked me out. go figure, my twin has to be some dumbass chick who passes out naked & has these pictures on the net. just my luck. so anyway, i was like, wow, ok this is scary. but i don’t know what i look like from that angle so curiosity killed the cat & i had to get a look.

naked imposter yours truly

i don’t like my profile…the key is the nose there. yeah, so, this chick is real skinny like me. i dunno though, my thighs & butt looked bigger. imagine that. i think my hair is better, too. oh & there’s my tattoo. thank god it’s not me.

so there’s my twin. fuck you, twin. i’m always the last man standing & i hardly ever crash at random people’s places…& i never get naked. i really don’t. not even in the shower. so…thank you, twin for reminding me why i don’t do that.

wait…what? I.GIVE.UP.

don’t come here anymore you psychopaths. ok?!?! yeah, what the fuck is my homepage’s gay problem. fuck.

hey. lets talk about something really cool! i’m a “manager” now. i’m a boss, i’m the one with the whip, i’m the one in control. well, that’s what they want me to believe. i “manage” this really fucking cool band. go listen to them right now. please. so they leave me alone. if you’re on drugs, listen now. if you wish you were on drugs, listen now. if you are opposed to drugs, definitely listen now. if any of the aforementioned groups don’t apply to you, listen now. ok??


mr mittens

November 28, 2001 0

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tomorrow i beat my spanish group to death. tonight i give up & say fuck it & go to bed early. go vote + for me over at camwhores. i’m stupid & i don’t think they like me. “they” being the people who enjoy watching videos of people eating shit & having sex with dead deformed babies. ok so i like that stuff too, but yeah. i’m a wanna-be. i’m also an asshole too, but we’ll save that for another day.

wow, transitions suck. transition back to “normal” sleeping patterns i’m talking about. take monday. i missed 75% of my classes because i was sleeping. i slept from 11 am till 7 pm. see, i was up all night then hit my first class then crashed. i was going to take a 2 hour nap but both of my alarms didn’t go off. so monday was basically a waste, not to mention today, too. & tomorrow i’m sure. but i did get one of my survivorcam prizes. doctor grosz sent out his band’s cds & some stickers. they aren’t so bad. if you’re curious (& i know you are) go check them out here. i also got a free hat from mbna. would i be a bad person if i gave a free gift to someone for christmas? i don’t want it & my dad might like it. i’m so cheap.

well i’m going to bed. i’m not in the mood to write anything of worth & i have spanish to do all tomorrow. let me say it again, i hate spanish. fuckity fuck fuck. it’s near the end of the semester, too, so i have to start doing work. it’s been brought to my attention that i have not tripped once this semester. in fact i haven’t done much of anything. what a gay semester this has been. way to go depress myself.

November 27, 2001 0

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i didn’t get to go grocery shopping last night cuz i forgot my wallet. i hate that. at least i didn’t go to the store & buy everything then find out i had no wallet. what would you do?? having like $40 worth of food rung up & absolutely no way to pay? that will happen to me someday just because it sucks & sucky things happen to me. i was lucky this time. although i’m gonna be hungry later on this week. i like grocery shopping. well, i don’t like having to get off my ass into the car to drive out there & then lug all my bags home when i’m done, but the actual shopping process is fun. they play the best music in there. they do. it’s like soft rock. not quite elevator music, but it’s fun & spunky. i like to sing along & bob up & down while riding my cart down the lanes. it’s really a-ok once you’re there. the only thing i hate is the the do-it-yourself check out. i’m afraid of it. i wait in line for the regular lane instead of going to that. the cashiers do it all for me. further proof that i can not function in life on my own. i need someone to help me. how deep & philosophical this turned out to be.

sluts & losers is back. go see cuz it looks nice & it’s good reading. & while we’re on the topic of sluts & things, take a look at sluts & funnel cakes. i’m noticing a trend here. maybe the rhiannons of the net (hey there’s a bunch you know) should get the url http://slutsandrhiannons.com. oh i crack myself up!

last night i got my tv tuner card working. anyone who has stb tv pci & windows 2000 knows that it’s fucking impossible to get it to work. there are a bunch of websites out there with people working on fixing the problem since the company sure as shit wont. so i was looking around & downloading some drivers here & there & this program dscaler & low & behold…it worked! well, kinda. see, i only got 4 channels…17-20. espn, espn2, the local ad channel, & fx. i don’t like sports. well, i fucked with channel frequency & all that & i couldn’t get anything. i don’t get it…why do i get these 4 random channels & nothing else? at least i could get channel 3 or 4 so i could hook up the vcr. i don’t ask for much, here. come on, work with me. i just don’t get it. but i do get why people sit in front of their tv & watch channels that are out of frequency & think aliens are speaking to them. that shit’s freaky. i definitely think aliens could be contacting us through wavelengths & frequencies. don’t fuck with that shit, you’ll get brainwashed. anyway, i’m selfish. i want more channels! this is where i ask you, readers, if you have any experience with this crap. i have cable television & i want to be able to watch all fucking 60+ channels on my computer! & being greedy & clueless to what i was doing, i decided to fuck with the settings & what happens? i get no channels. fucking ass, now i’ve gone & done it & i’m pissed. either way though, i’m a little better off than the last time i tried this because at least i get snow on the channels & all the yellow exclamation points have disappeared from the device manager. oh this will work. it will. you’ll be glad, too…oh yes.

November 25, 2001 0

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from my mailbox: “I’m very wealthy…need a sugar daddy?” step on over to the wishlist, buddy.

anyway, i got a clockwork orange today! thanks to whoever got me that. i’m gonna watch it tonight…something to do. i’m not a fan of holidays for the fact that i have absolutely nothing to do. last night i cleaned my apartment. tonight after watching movies i will clean some more. talk about a wasted weekend…i slept until 7 pm today. you’d figure i’d do something with my time off, but no, i will stay up until 6 am on the internet bitching about how bored i am, but instead of going to bed, io will just look at random websites. then come school time i will find tons of things i need to do…but they will conflict with my work. it’s the nature of the beast. you should see me all summer. i’m disgusting. i wont bathe for days or leave my apartment. hahaha.

so besides doing absolutely nothing these past few days, i’ve actually spent a lot of time conferencing. i never do that but i manage to do it twice in like 2 days. i’ve decided that i would like to listen to people’s phone conversations more often. what kind of tools do i need to be able to tap into people’s phones? i don’t talk much, but i love to listen to other people. kinda like the attraction of voyeurism to you freaks who watch the cam. well, since i had a nice phone conversation with the boys of telcobox, i’ll give them a plug – plug. they are pretty cool. i also wasted a good hour & a half with the sick individuals of mr mittens. seriously, just check that out & you will understand. the people i associate with…

ok so here’s a story. the other weekend i was out & talking to a friend when i find out some dirt on this girl i hate. i mean despise. i wish death upon her. i call her hobag & good god she is. anyway, i finally learned her name & just heard some old nasty stories about her & her friends. so, i come home all drunk & what do i do? i open the stalker directory & search for everyone with that name. i dunno her last name so i copied email addresses for all these girls & plugged them into aim to find out screen names. so there you go. i am a complete psychopath. why did i do this you ask? well, if she has aim & i have her name i can seethe with rage every time she comes online & start screaming “i fucking hate you cunt!” & so i know when other people are online at the same time as her so i can freak out & get all pissed off that they could possibly be talking. ok yeah so this is totally nuts. but i know i’m not the only one who does this…so it’s kinda normal, right? i have so many people on my list that i don’t talk to…but they’re just on. you know, ex girlfriends of ex boyfriends. & general people i hate (& like) but i still want to read their away messages & profiles. ha. so yeah, i just wanted to share that. i’d post a picture but she is so barf-o-rama & even though this bitch has straight up given me dirty looks & told my friends that she doesn’t like me, people who might know her might read this. & i don’t need that. so yeah, stop acting like you’re all that, std-face. wow! i’m really a healthy & balanced individual. & my mama didn’t teach me very good cuz yes, i diss people on the internet. still like me, ok?

November 23, 2001 0

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holy shit. i am addicted to jodee, too! I AM NOT WORTHY!

so what did you guys all have for dinner? i had turkey! i think some other people had turkey too. that’s pretty cool that other people had the same dinner as me. tonight was relatively boring, but i talked about guns with this old dude. he invited me over so i can ride his dog sled & shoot silent machine guns. he was kinda scary. anyway, that is all.

oh looks like internet gossip got hacked again. finally i get to see one of these mysterious hacks that they always seem to have. that site is great, i don’t care what anyone says. i dunno about the rest of you but you need to get over the pedophile thing. i guess it’s all that time spent on cu-seeme but i’m so used to seeing 40+ dudes whackin’ it for anyone in the room…even the 16 & 17 year old girls. you figure there’s about 30 people in there…male & female. & these dudes are just going to town. oh no, people jerk off on cam, someone notify the ny times! now i’ve gotten all worked up…time to hop on cu. you kids with cams should join me. email me for info regarding the best thing in videoconferencing & time wasting.

i feel so alone! ok, so i live alone but no one is in this town right now, so it just feels empty. there’s like 2 lights on in the apartment across from me. but really there’s only old people & foreigners wandering around the streets. actually it’s not as bad as christmas…that’s when it’s a fucking ghost town. i don’t mind though, i get to play my music loud & sing & dance. i get all weird about that when there’s people around. things i’ve learned since living here is not to have loud sex or sing in the shower. i’ve heard both. i don’t want people to hear me. sing that is. cuz that’s all anyone would hear from me. i wonder if my neighbors hear me talking to myself. i do that a lot. i’m also kinda loud. i used to love it when i was the only one in the dorms…i’d blast my music & smoke like a chimney.

so yeah i changed things a bit. i had the idea for a bit but blame artfag for this mess because she suggested i make the blog the main focus, with my “articles” off to the side. way to make me self conscious there. i don’t want this crap to be the main attraction for the site. this used to be here as a filler while the articles were the important things. but, i’m too lazy at updating that, so now i don’t have to worry about cramming those in every week. hey, at least they’ll be better now or something. so now i have to keep you folks entertained with my rambling about nothing. but do i really have anything worth reading? nah. i will try though! i’m 100% sure things will stay this way. i think i need more stuff under the features. ideas? ideas? i’m stuck. but this is how it will stay for the time being, i’m just not sure. i’m not someone to change my layout every 2 weeks. i want to find the perfect design for me & keep it that way forever. or just make it better. you know.

you suck well, i don’t think i’ll update tomorrow since i’ll be home, although i will be bored as all hell. i have the option of coming back here to my computer with all my illegal things & the cam & a cable modem, but i’ll cut some slack & kick it at home. every year we have this giant dinner. my mom invites all the grad students & foreigners at her office over for dinner so there’s all these random strangers around. i’d rather it be a small family function but what can you do. at least i don’t have to deal with the bastard children anymore. god they sucked. back when my computer was at home i had to entertain them so i let them play games. i don’t have children’s games so i let them play vigilance, a fun little shooting game. then the parents said something to me about how they didn’t approve of their kids playing violent games. i was like, oh yeah, they’re playing solitaire. i tried to get them on cu-seeme to see if there were any wankers on. i am that twisted where i want evil children to be exposed to naked old farts beating off online. but instead i just took pictures of them on the cam. thank christ they wont be here this year. nothing like trying to escape a big scoial function only to find your escape route has been taken over by pokemon worshipping rats.

November 21, 2001 0

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what is this?? the login rhitard for @home is reserved. that means i can’t have it. that means someone took my name. that is my name. bitches. now i’m gonna have to pick the name punkrockcoolchick42069 or something. i’m currently discussing this right now with my @home customer care specialist in our chat session. jealous much are you??

slack on the updates, i know. but i had to deal with school. monday was great, i got 2 1-hour naps in a about a 36 hour period thanks to my shit schedule & my stat exam. after you hit a certain mark of no sleep you start to get all funny. i was quite funny. you might have seen my giant head of broccoli that i named herman last night. we were gonna go out to damon’s to play trivia all night but it was packed & we had to settle for ruby tuesdays. i farted & burped & rambled aimlessly in my delirious state. i giggled a lot when i asked for my box to take herman home. but i usually do that sort of thing. ok, so i’m changing things a little bit so expect that soon. nothing big. & school’s out for break, aw yeah. but i’m gonna go back to my chat & figure out some acceptable login. maybe i’ll have some fun with this guy. a/s/l? wanna cyber? since i’m a customer & the customer is always right he should comply to my request. i could have fun with that job. probably get fired though…

ok, scratch that last bit. this guy is cool. & i have never felt as popular as i do right now. yes ladies & gentlemen, this is part of the actual convo i had with my customer service specialist!


chat

i like keeping it real, you feel me? being professional sucks when you don’t have to, so the fact that this guy just bullshitted around with me, being a little less “professional” than The MAN in charge might like, is great. i hardly ever got to bullshit with customers when i was a telemarketer. i didn’t want to sell credit cards, i wanted to waste time & talk to people while getting paid. formal & professional is boring. i’m fun & exciting, & oh so fresh. so yes, when i work my summer id office job, i’m giving the “real deal” tips on college life for those little freshmen turds:

“this is the place to go to parties…you can get beer & bitches. & this bar will let you in with a fake id. oh you live in that dorm? sucks for you, they’re all homosexuals there. take this class, you can cheat so easy.”

but professional as always with the parents:

“why yes, ma’am, the poster says 75% of penn state students drink responsibily. in all honesty i think it’s more around 85%”

anyway, back to business. webmail blows. the person who reserved rhitard is gay. i am not creative with names, so i had to settle. kinda “eh” on this, but it works. so, email me at rhitarded@home.com.

November 19, 2001 0

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it’s a wonder i didn’t wet my bed last night. no, i wasn’t that fucked up. it was my faucet. most people have faucets that will do a steady drip, but mine would just randomly trickle a little stream for awhile & stop. sounded like someone was taking a piss in the corner of my kitchen.

so i stayed up last night to watch those meteors. maybe it was me but i wasn’t all the impressed. well, i didn’t go outside, i just looked out my window. i bet that had something to do with it. i finally realized i was supposed to stare at the sky for awhile. so every once in awhile those little fuckers were flying by. now i was entertained, but anyone could be enter- tained by anything in my state if you get what i’m saying. i was just expecting more. yeah.

would anyone like to help me understand the concept of no parking within 20 feet of a crosswalk? now maybe it’s me, but i don’t see a problem with that. god made a crosswalk in the road so people could cross the street, being that the street is made for cars. when i parked my car, i made sure not to block walkways & crosswalks. i was in between 2, but a few feet from the lines. i don’t see why i need to be 20 feet away from the lines when i’m clearly not taking over any part of the sacred crosswalk. like pedestrians even give a shit, they’ll cross the road anywhere. fucking ass, it was a football weekend, too. i wasn’t supposed to get any tickets. next thing you know they’ll start ticketing for not being 20 feet away from the car in front of you.

November 18, 2001 0

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hello my babby.ý want to fuck you.ý am waiting. please send to me mail.kiss

you guys are funny. gotta run though, updates soon for you my little hot cakes…

November 16, 2001 0

rhitard * com

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attempting to update drunk sucks. i hate it. but i am now miss survivorcam 2 & i am happy. more on that later.

so artfag is trying to corrupt me, that whore. she forced me to go out to this party when i should have been doing homework. what the fuck man, it’s almost 3 am. you know i would be sleeping right now…right? haha yeah so it’s the other way around. i am miss party animal & i’m always trying to lure people over to my side. i usually do. & i have sucked her into my world of sex, drugs, rock & roll, & orgies & stuff. you know. oh yeah, go read her article on cam boys. it’s funny. i once thought there was going to be a point to this but i think i was mistaken. i am going to be very tired for classes tomorrow & i have to write this gay spanish thing because i didn’t do it tonight. i really wish i had. oh yeah, this was my point. so i was at this party with all my buds i haven’t seen in awhile. & what do i do? i find a computer to see if the official word that i’d won survivorcam was up. & it was & i tried to show people & they didn’t care. so that’s it. later.

November 15, 2001 0

rhitard * com

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arrogancy. funny funny stuff.

american jackass again found me worthy as someone to give thanks to. or maybe it’s the support. i guess sending in titty pictures for links really works. i know they’re post- ed somewhere on that site.

speaking of titty pictures, if you’ve been following my site, you know the most you’ll get out of me is a bit of leg when i stand up to go to the kitchen to get food. i know this because it’s what you sick sick people add to my favorites on camrecord. freaks. anyway, my stand- ing of a g-rated camgirl has shot way up to pg-13 thanks to survivorcam. i feel so dirty. so it looks like i’m just gonna continue with my pg-13 sluttiness & have fun with fetishes.

livian’s gonna be departing from the net soon for thailand. long before any of you knew who she was, we were buds. i remember last year when she went to thailand & she’d talk to me on icq from random internet cafes. craziness i tell you.

oh, & i missed scrubs last night. i’m really pissed about that cuz it’s my new favorite show. the only show i watch on a regular basis is days of our lives cuz it’s on every day & i’ve been a dedicated worship- per for the past 5 years. every other show i like i forget to watch. god dammit, i’m mad. more plugs coming soon i’m sure.

all right, so i’m a little more with it today after finally getting some sleep, although that included skipping class. i have so much to catch up on as far as school goes & hell, even reading my favorite websites. i’ve been like a zombie for the past week. last week was hell week with school, & then survivorcam this week. i’m sad it’s over, cuz i just love doing crazy shit on cam. of course i’ll keep doing it, but it wont be the same. so what are my thoughts? well i’ll save those till the game’s officially over, but right now i am very nervous! thank god this paper i have to write is only 2 pages cuz i’m gonna be hanging around the survivorcam judge orgy like a fly on shit. [not important shit, edited out] but, if you are a judge or contestant who wants me to kiss ass till your head explodes to sway your vote, i am ready, willing, & able! grr, this is nerve racking. i’d be more excited though if i didn’t have such horrible cramps. feel sorry for me please. this was a gay post, sorry.

oh yeah, check out camrecord for my 24 hour cam madness images!

finally i am done! well, not completely, i still have some more of cookie’s challenges to go, but those will be fun! her challenge was by far the best cuz we get to do whatever we want. i spent 8 hours on the last challenge…was up until 6 am. i’m just exhausted from doing this. i really hope this paid off. but yeah, i’ll be getting back to normal now. well, gotta keep this short cuz i’m tired & i gotta keep those images moving.

donations to the pot always help because this was a lot of work. hope you got a kick out of my entries. & wish me luck for the final tally of votes!