Archive for January, 2002

January 30, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckkkkkfuuuuuuck. i thought i missed scrubs since i looked at the clock & saw that it was 9:57. & i started screaming & getting all mad. but apparently the state of the union address is on. good. i didn’t miss scrubs after all. i don’t know what the state of the union address is & i don’t care. boo on dubya. back to the game show network!

god i love this weather. this is out of control that i can wear short sleeves in january. i dunno how it is in other parts of the world, but it’s wonderful here. it feels like spring & there’s something about the coming of spring after a long winter that makes you feel good. well, i think it’s too much to ask for an early spring, but it’d be nice. go figure i’m taking a global warming science class. all i can say is that i’m digging this global warming thing. for my class we’re supposed to make a portfolio of excel spreadsheets & graphs based on data to predict the future of global warming. at this point, i don’t care since i’ll be dead long before we go to hell in a hand basket. i should just do my portfolio on why i love global warming & why it benefits me. graph out how much happier i am in the heat & how much money i’d save on my heating bill. if there was a way i could prove the world does in fact revolve around me then i would be good to go. i guess i could also mention that it would suck if we tried to predict everything & out of the blue a nuclear bomb was dropped. i’m not one for working hard on things for nothing. i could say, “since the world revolves around me & i like heat, global warming is a-ok & while i can’t say how much will increase, i do hope it’s a lot. i like 50 degree januarys.” that would just be swell. but unfortunately i have to play by the rules. so uh, if anyone is like really into the environment & likes nothing other than graphing & interpreting data, let me know & i’ll let you in on my secret lab website. actually, scratch that. here’s the website with the homework. so if you have any ideas, tell me what you would do for these problems because i sure as shit haven’t a clue.

the other night i had a dream that my mom washed all my clothes & they shrunk. it really upset me & i don’t know what the dream was trying to tell me. must be those old repressed feelings again. i’ll have to consult my dream dictionary. it did motivate me to gather all my hand wash & dry clean only clothes to wash in the tub, though. i don’t really mind hand washing all that much, & sure it takes more effort, but it’s real tough to get pit stench out. seriously. since i have to put in the extra effort to wash them i’ll wear them at least 3 times. any time they start to get stinky i just spray a lot of febreze at the pit & stick it by the fan. i’ve been known to wash things in the washing machine that i shouldn’t have. while the washing machine isn’t too bad, it’s the dryer that’s killer. sucks having nice clothes because they are all fucking dry clean only & hand wash only. i never dry clean. i don’t even trust those dry clean baggie things that you can stick in the dryer. dryer = hell for clothes. tip for anyone who has dry clean only clothes…you can hand wash them & lay them out to dry & they’ll be fine. but taking “womanly-related” tips from me can sometimes be shady though, so be warned.

January 28, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

i laugh at all you eagles & steelers fans. NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! HAHAHAHA YOU SUCK! yes, i am one of those people that laughs at other’s misfortunes. although if you had to deal with these crazy fanatics, you’d feel the need to be evil too. if the steelers & eagles had managed to end up playing i would have been terrified to leave my apartment. i would probably suffer hearing loss from the deafening yelling & chanting in my prime habitation location. but on the plus side there probably would have a riot & that would be cool. well, once again, i am overly joyed by the victories of the rams & the patriots. good work boys, you have managed to depress a good hunk of college students here & that makes me happy.

* also, this is completely unrelated, but creed is on mtv right now & they are flaming homos & i hate them. the lead singer is a retarded dick head who thinks he’s so badass because he tries to sing like eddie vedder. i hope you go to hell (literally) you bible toting pussies. ok, i am glad i got that out!

oh yeah, i forgot to mention…guess who got nominated for the the 2002 sxsw people’s choice award? no, not me, but close! survivorcam has been nominated & they better win because 1. it is cool. 2. i like bertie. 3. i won the fucking (#2) thing. so go there & vote & stuff. word on the street is that the survivorcam games are starting up again in the near future so get ready!

January 27, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

HA HA!! my friend made out with some kid in high school because she knew that if you’re in high school it’s so pimp to score with college girls. how funny! she knew it would make his night. & then i was sitting on a couch later & this kid was talking to some other dude & i knew it was about her & his friend said “you’re rollin’ with the big boys now!” hahahahahaha. yeah so i was at some party with high schoolers. i dunno how many, but everyone there looked so young. :/ i was talking to some girl who was a senior from my high school & i went off about the ‘good old days’ from when i was in high school. i am such a dork. but i still don’t think this is as low as when i was at the senior prom after party…last year.

January 26, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

chelle

instead of going to bed i decided to use my current creative energy to produce a beautiful piece of artwork. this is a masterpiece! i hope chelle likes it. ok, that’s it…i’m selling this on ebay for lots of money. next time i’m on the lds i shall do this again. but for now this will do. you know i had some things to say but i forgot them. oh yeah & that stupid whoreslop in the parking lot needs to die. parking on campus during the weekends is cut throat. people are out for the kill & it’s impossible to find a good spot unless you drive around for an hour…only to have some dickwad try to steal your spot. some chick was standing in a parking spot talking on her cell phone…apparently holding the space. this is first come, first save, lady. move! “charles i have found you a spot. i will wait here for you to have this spot because i want to have sex with you. oh you’re in rush hour traffic across town? let me stand here like a stupid sorority bitch while angry people stop & glare at me.” that is what she was saying i know it. i then also made the mistake of looking for parking at 2 am when everyone else was. when the campus cops came to ticket illegally parked cars i hightailed it out of there to a parking lot far far away. & on the journey to my apartment i ended up back in that same parking lot. someone was pulling out. i will beat you, all of you deserve to be shot! i’ve lived in this town longer, i should have priority parking. other than that i think i’m hungry & i don’t know what to eat. so i don’t know.

January 25, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized


Suck my fucking dick you faggot, you happy now?

go take ogre’s quiz right now

i got a low score. i guess that’s good?

the fire alarm is going off…again. but what’s funny is that a few days ago the people upstairs were knocking on doors to let people know that thursday night there was gonna be a party with male strippers. must have gotten a little hot up there, know what i’m sayin? haha! i wonder what they’re all thinking up there…i hear a lot of noise. you’d think they’d want to evacuate being male strippers & all. i will never leave. if my apartment burns down i will die because i refuse to go outside when that damn alarm goes off. anyway, this must be payback for not knocking on my door earlier to let me know abut the party…because they were telling people they could check out the strippers & i really wanted to go see that…

January 25, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

my name is bo bo & i like kitty litter. this was written on my elevator & it really spoke to me. hello friends! shit sells. seriously. the correlation between hits & talking about poop is unmistakable. you guys like my poop! so that was sheila’s secret to becoming some huge super internet star. it’s good to know because i have some golden poop stories. ultimate. but another time, another time…i’m sorry i don’t have any fun stories today.

i don’t know which disturbs me more…that a hell of a lot more people came here when i had tacky porn up, or that some people actually thought it was me. have mercy on us all. nay wants it. but nay can’t have it. that is so choice. i’m addictionable. i’ll fucking leave you nauseous, shaking, sweating, crampy, & downright suicidal when you can’t get your daily dose. hahahaha! i laugh with myself sometimes. fuck you, i’m laughing with me, not at me.
oh wow, go me. today i discovered that there’s a mature filter content on google image search. once i clicked that link after typing in some “questionable” material, i got a whole set of different pictures. seriously, if only i’d been bright enough to figure this out earlier i could have saved myself some time & found some really funny pictures. at least i know now!



take for example: “lesbians”

on off
Mature content filter is On Mature content filter is Off

January 23, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

oh my god that is so wrong. i eventually gave in not too long after i wrote that last post & i unclogged the toilet but managed to get shit on the floor while rinsing my plunger. this is sick. guess i’m putting the swiffer wet jet to action tonight in a good old fashioned scrub down. you know the wet jet wipe things look like giant maxi pads.

i. have. to. pee.

my toilet is clogged. first it was clogged cuz of toilet paper & i flushed & it didn’t go down. so i was like, whatever, i’ll try again later. then i had to shit. so i shit. & flushed. it didn’t go down. so i was like, fuck, i’ll try again later. so i have to pee & i go into the bathroom. oh yeah, the toilet’s clogged. peeing wont make it any better so i tried again. it still wouldn’t go down. so i have this dilemma. i have to pee. but i don’t want to plunge the toilet. hi, gross. cuz then the plunger gets shit on it. that’s ok you’d think because i can just rinse it off in the shower, right? well, my drain is slightly clogged due to all the hair, so whenever i shower there’s like a couple inches of water i’m standing in. so i don’t want shit particles coming up next time i take a shower. other wise i would pee first in the tub & keep trying to flush the toilet throughout the night. something tells me i’m going to have to use the plunger. i guess i really should get some draino for the shower drain…but i don’t have my car except on the weekends so i’ll have to wait a few days before i can deal with that. well, as of 6:30 pm i’m holding the pee. peeing in a cup has been suggested, but i refuse to do that. it’d be kinda funny to go knock on my neighbor’s door to ask if i could use their bathroom. if i knew them, i would. but how funny would that be? someone knocks on your door asking to use your bathroom because they don’t want to unclog their toilet. but that’s a no-go i’m afraid. so we’ll see how long i can last with this current condition.

January 23, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

dude. i have a dent in my leg. like a diagonal indent on my right calf. see, i’ve always noticed it, but i always assumed it was sock marks or from having my legs pressed against the desk. then last night i realized, hey, this is always here. this kinda sucks, because i have a feeling it’s due to years of sitting in front of the computer with my leg digging into the edge of the desk. so far the internet hasn’t caused me any life-long scars, but this might be my first. i’m going to consciously make sure my leg does not dig into the desk & i’ll wear different socks that aren’t tight & hope this goes away in a few days. how can this be permanent?! talk about shitty.

today we watched a movie in my mythology class. artfag & i were double trouble sitting in the back being assholes. well, actually it was just me & i was contagious. it was 11 am & hell, i was hyper. so we watched this movie called tahtonka about the termination of buffalo & native americans. i couldn’t help it, i was cracking up through the whole thing. yeah i know i suck for laughing at it, but it was this cheesy ass 1960’s movie. when they did trippy acid flashback reenactments of buffalo being run off a cliff i lost it. i want to rent that video just to take caps of it. it was that funny. i think you had to be there. but whatever.

TAHTONKA!!

January 21, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

i love jesus, don’t you? i love jesus because he’s an asshole & it’s like this natural phenomenon that all women love assholes. why is jesus an asshole? well, anyone who says i can’t get into the pearly white heaven gates or whatever without worshipping his ass first is an asshole. right? see, i don’t know much about religion but i understand that you need to “repent” & love god to go to heaven & if i don’t go along with that….even if i don’t do anything bad…i’m still denied access. sounds pretty shitty if you ask me. so who wants to hang out with those jerkoffs for eternity, huh? i like arguing on the net (yeah yeah you’ve all seen it….arguing on the internet is like the special olympics…even if you win you’re still retarded) but those crazy religious psychos amuse me till no end. try having a rational conversation with them & see how far you get. ok, i need to get off this topic before i start going off on a tangent.

hi! happy martin luther king jr. day. we didn’t get today off & that pisses me off. i’m surprised i even remembered what today was, but either way, i’m still not celebrating. but it’s a holiday & you’re supposed to get days off on holidays because they’re holidays. come on now. i think we’re the only school in the big 10 that doesn’t take today off. you’d figure with penn state being so gung ho on ethnic diversity that they’d give us the chance to celebrate today without class. of course they know no one will do anything…we’d most likely use it as an excuse to drink. but that’s not the point! i think more holidays need to be designated as legitimate days off. like when you have to go to school or work on secretary’s day. the fuck? i think later i’m going to find a list of all holidays (big or small, it doesn’t matter!) & take that day off. i mean, that’s the whole idea of a holiday, right?

you can call me out & say i’m disrespectful & don’t know the true meaning of holidays. well, that, my friend, is correct! but then again, who ever celebrates holidays for what they are? they’re all excuses to stay home & get drunk. when was the last time someone celebrated christmas for the (wrong) birth of jesus & didn’t care about the presents? does anybody really know what kwanzaa is? at least we all know easter is the day we celebrate a big bunny & eat lots of chocolate.

resha’s site is looking great, as always. there are thousands of sites out there, but frankly most of them suck & don’t impress me. but i dunno man, something about resha’s shit does something to me. web shit, that is.

January 21, 2002 0

By in Uncategorized

so i got the epilator off my wishlist last week & i decided to try it out on friday. i didn’t really have time to do much but i wanted to test it out. warning! warning! this product should only be used by people with a high tolerance for pain. when i plugged it in & turned it on i was afraid to use it. basically what it is is a motorized plucker that rips out hair really fast. that thing hurt! it felt like i was getting a tattoo. maybe it’s because i have about 2 month’s worth of hair…i dunno. but, when i came home drunk i decided to try it again. it’s painful but kind of fun. something i can do while sitting on the couch watching tv.

epilator

i’ve been thinking about moving to another place to live with people. i like living by myself, but next year is my last year & i haven’t really socialized to my full capacity. so i’m thinking about that. but having to move all my shit out into another place…then moving it again when i graduate…ugh. i dunno. we’ll see.

i haven’t been motivated to update this site really. i can never think of anything funny anymore. my life right now is pretty boring so i don’t even need to write about that. what did i do today? same thing i do every sunday…got up at 5 pm, watched some tv, went home for dinner, did my laundry, did the grocery shopping. what will i do tomorrow? wake up for days, go to class, then come home & go online. it’s funny how much i like the stability of my life…i know what i will be doing at pretty much any time of the day…give or take on the weekends. but things are very repetitive & structured i should say. i don’t like being busy & i’m not. but as much as i like this aspect, i hate the fact that i’m so bored of doing the same things day to day. but i also don’t like change. but see, change could be good. but i wouldn’t have the reassuring feeling of knowing how my day will turn out. i swear it’s like i’m hitting a midlife crisis. it’s only going downhill from here, baby. so there’s my outlook on life at the moment. just listen to pink floyd’s time. that song says it all. dude, it totally speaks to me. moves me. you know. rawr! my favorite song…favorite favorite favorite…