Archive for January, 2002

January 7, 2002 0

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if you are someone who writes “f-ing” or “sh*t” in your aim profile or your homepage, face it…you are a dork.

January 7, 2002 0

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when someone said it was snowing i didn’t expect a mini blizzard. when i looked out the window i said “oh fuck.” when i went outside to go home i said “OH FUCK.” i couldn’t get my car out of the parking lot so i called my mom. help! i can’t get out! now, i could have just left the car there & said fuck it & wait to move it the next day after everything had been plowed. but that would mean getting a parking ticket. my mom knew this & said no, your dad’s going to come out there with some shovels & you will dig the van out. i guess getting a $15 dollar ticket is out of the question, so the most obvious choice is to go the difficult way. she asked me why i waited so long to leave & i didn’t want to tell her i’d just woken up at 6 pm heh. so after i finally dig myself out, i still had to drive home. mind you i’m deathly afraid of driving in snow…as i should be. the whole ride home i was sliding all over the road. you see, apparently the way the plows work in this town is that they only plow the roads after it’s stopped snowing. doesn’t matter that there’s half a foot on the ground already. i survived cuz i’m a survivor, i’m not gonna give up, i’m not gonna stop, i’m gonna work harder…unless i die. but i didn’t die. i was just severely shaking the whole way there saying “please god please god please.”

now, i’m home, right. the car is safe, no tickets to worry about. but how do i get back to my apartment? the first day of school is tomorrow & i don’t have my backpack, clothes, or any idea where i’m supposed to go. so i decided to brave it & walk halfway & then take the campus loop back to my place. i just missed the bus, & instead of walking the whole way, i decided to wait. i probably could have made it back quicker, but walk the whole way? bitch please. so i threw snowballs at signs, made retarded snow angels & wrote out who i loved in the snow. if i had a penis i would have done it in urine, but you work with what you’ve got…your shoe. had i had gloves i would have made snow women with giant boobies. so the whole car thing blew but i actually kinda had fun in the snow. i ran through it & you know you look kinda like those people in movies running along the beach in slow motion. i’m sure i looked dumb. now that i’m back inside & warm i can look outside & say, ok it looks kinda pretty i guess, but since they never close school & driving in it is a death wish, i can still say i hate snow, so please don’t come back.

according to money magazine’s article on the best places to live in america…best high school graduation rate: state college, pa. i’m excited we got noticed. it’s 5 am & i’m still up. & i’m looking for cities to live in because frankly i’m just itching to get out of here. granted, i go where the job is you know…if i can even snag one right away. but at this point i’m free to say, i can live anywhere in the world, & _________ looks nice. this is a tough decision though just looking online & nothing’s really calling to me, either. ok, back to my search.

January 6, 2002 0

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i’m one smart cookie. while i had all break to sit around & bitch about how there’s nothing to do, i could have done something productive like buy my books. now, i always wait a few weeks to buy them because i never end up reading them anyway & i don’t want to deal with returning them if i drop a class. but i need my spanish 2 book right away. so now i’ll have to go out on the first day of class & stand in line for a good half hour to buy this thing. oh we still have 2 more semesters left of hating spanish, yes.

so i’ve been 21 for 5 days now. i only went out to bars new year’s eve & the night of my birthday. in fact i don’t even know what to order. when i was in canada we went out & didn’t know what to get so we were lame & got fuzzy navels & rum & cokes. generic type shit. i need to find my drink. i’m certainly not the alcohol expert, so i’m afraid to order something i’ve heard of only to find out it tastes like ass & i wasted $5. help me out here, people. i like nice sweet fruity girly drinks. so if you know of anything i’ve got to try, on my mission to find my trademark drink, tell me! i don’t want to hear anything weird like the new zealand peppered sweet tickle with a twist on the rocks with red. because i’ll go up to the bar & start crying when they ask what the hell it is & i’ll tell them someone on the internet told me to try it. i’m a die hard champagne fan…mimosas are good. anyway, beside the whole legal drinking thing, i think i’m more excited about finally being able to order shit with my camel cash. i’ve been saving for a long time & good things come to those who wait. i’m gonna get hooked up, man. & i’ll finally be able to get special offers & coupons for free smokes.

rhiannon

look that’s me! ok so not me me, since no one draws pictures of me, but that’s the goddess rhiannon. i really like the art on this page, itโ€™s pretty. anyway, i always find it interesting some of the things that pop up when you do a search on google for images. the most random shit comes up. i was doing some searches for shit to put on here since i learned something in class about news. people like to see sensational news…not like important news, but people accidentally sticking their hands in blenders. & more visuals keep people entertained. no one wants so read or see boring shit without any pictures. so since i don’t have any real news here i figured i’d fill up on images. i can’t even find good pictures. god. bring it on, haters! tell me this site is a piece of shit no matter what i do. i might even get depressed & leave the net because i can’t take the heat. well, since i’m now with adelphia i guess, i’m waiting patiently for webspace so i can host my lame daily pictures there. they give me a whole 5 megs, i dunno what i’ll do with all that space ๐Ÿ™ but they obviously don’t like me since they say it takes up to 24 hours to process my request & it’s been longer than that. but i guess i can wait since i’ve decided i need to finish all the incomplete things on here. the candiflyp picture gallery is up if anyone cares.

January 4, 2002 0

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jesus christ. my glade oil plugin thing leaked all over the counter last night. there’s oil all on the counter & down the wall & shit. i have to unplug the stupid thing whenever i want waffles or coffee & the bitch leaked. it stinks so bad in here now. hell, you can probably go in the bathroom & lock the door & still smell it. bad plug-in, bad. luckily its not the douche-like one i bought earlier. that shit stunk normally when you plugged it in & had it on the lowest setting. so now i have to counteract with some vanilla smelling candles. i asked for smelly candles for christmas because when i let the trash & dishes go for awhile my place starts to smell. so why not counteract the mold, bacteria, stinky trash, & stale smoke smell with flowery candles? thing is, my parents got me a truckload of candles…& only about 5 are the ones that really smell good when you light them. i have all these cheap ones that smell ok when you stick your nose up to them & take a good whiff. you boys don’t understand, but you girls do.

one of the pluses of being a chick is the endless opportunities to smell, look, & feel good. lotion, creams, oils, perfume, facial wraps, candles, bath stuff…it’s endless. i like smelling good & putting weird herbal shit on my face because it in turn makes me feel good. some day i need to go out to a spa because i think i’d definitely dig it. although i don’t usually sit around thinking, hey i want to go to a spa today. but i have been thinking about buying some mega-girly shit to treat myself to. but i dunno, i’d be at a loss at what to buy & i have a feeling all that crap is expensive. but there’s something about getting a new beauty product that’s exciting. even something as simple as a new shampoo. i went home & brought home all my shampoo, body wash, & perfume samples i had from home. granted most of these things are years old, but now i have exciting new things to try in the shower. it really is exciting. the end.

January 4, 2002 0

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dude, ok, from now on i’m keeping a list of search engine requests. there were some funny ones awhile back, but only the last 20 are stored. for awhile the hot items people were searching for were pictures, beaches, frats, foam party, spring break, & PICTURES OF FUCKING ON THE BEACH SAND. just take any combo of those words & that’s what people were looking for. so here are the latest:


deformed sex pictures

twin fuck
(twice)

pictures of girls passed out naked

watch me do on my web cam

PENN STATE BLOWJOB

naked wow girls

starving kids pictures

i hate spanish
(my favorite!)

how to give a blowjob (this is the last place to look for that)

fucking my twin

& some others. ooh boy, this is fun. of course, these are pretty tame compared to some people so i guess i need to give a little help for the next batch of searchers. what the hell is wrong with you people?

fucking cunt dead hermaphrodites transvestites eating shit off my mother naked mullet anal sex pissing licking whores pussy masturbating eggbeaters osama bin laden raping george bush butt hairy toilet party sex bikini thong apples puppies kitten torture

all right, so it’s a new year. all the pessimists sit around & bitch about how it’s a bunch of crap how nothing has changed & it’s not really a new start. but just the idea of a new year, a new start, some changes…it motivates me more i guess since not only is it a new year, i’m a year older (21 baby), & it’s a new semester in school. so while nothing really has changed, maybe it’s time to change my outlook on life. something like that. honestly i can’t say how 2002 will turn out. i doubt it could get much worse than 2001 so i guess that makes me feel better. 2001 was the worst year of my life, as i’m sure it was for a bunch of people…september 11. but even before september i’d already declared 2001 the shittiest year. probably the only thing that didn’t blow about 2001 was that i won survivorcam. had i not won, i would have nothing good to say. 2002. the year most of my condoms expire. so expect me to put condoms over my head on cam some day when i get bored because i have nothing else to do with them. i had them for 4 years & this is what happens to them. whoopie.

so i’m looking over my class schedule & i realized that i’m the pimp daddy. only 4 classes & check this out…my earliest class is at 11:15, twice a week. i also did a complete reversal from last time. while monday was my day from hell with way too many classes, this time i only have 1 class monday. unfortunately i have 3 on friday. but who cares, i don’t start until noon. as far as my classes go they look all right. i don’t see too much stress coming my way. i’m trying to get into another class though, but i don’t see that happening. i forgot to register the first day that i could. usually i’m right on top of that. a bunch of dickhead’s with seniority always grab the classes i want. it never fails. i’m hoping this class i want was filled before it was my time to register because if not, it was solely my fault for not getting in. i swear by the time it’s my last year i will get to register first, but that will be the year that all the classes i want wont be offered or they’ll be at 8 am. it will happen, trust me. i am walking bad luck.

January 3, 2002 0

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ok things are starting to settle down a bit. i haven’t really been here much these past few weeks…trips, my house, new year’s eve & new year’s day. so now i’m getting back into my routine. you know, sleeping till 3 pm, watching days of our lives then staying up on the internet all night. it’s good to be back.

so how was my birthday, you ask? it was ok. a friend of mine came into town so we hit this party to ring in the new year since i probably couldn’t have gotten into any bars before midnight. nothing real special there, though. last year a lot of people i knew were there…this time hardly any. so after midnight we journey out to go to the bars. the first bar we hit was having a private party. ok, lets move on. the second place didn’t look too interesting so we headed further west. mind you i live very east of the downtown area & it was colder than all fuck but who cares. so the next few places were closed. closed. how can a bar not be open on new year’s eve?! alright so on we go. the next place said they wouldn’t serve me for 2 days. see, once upon a time a girl took 21 shots of vodka on her 21st birthday & almost died of alcohol poisoning. so they put into effect the law that you can’t have anything but beer for the first few days of being 21. always one bad apple ruining it for the rest of us. so finally we find a bar that’s all right. the bouncer scared the crap out of me & told me everyone at the bar knew it was my birthday & if i was caught drinking anything but beer i’d be thrown out. my friend had already ordered me a drink. so i’m cowering in the corner with my drink & this girl comes up. so of course i’m like “hi, it’s my birthday!!” & she asks what i want to drink. i say champagne because that’s my drink. so i got a bottle of champagne. oh yeah. at this point it was 1 so we decided to go to another bar. the cover was only $1 but i didn’t have to pay & i was led to the counter for a free beer. good times. i ran into an old friend i hadn’t seen in awhile & i got a bunch of hats, working the “it’s my 21st birthday can i have your hat?” line. i should try that more often.

the next day i was hurting. i didn’t barf at all but my stomach was not feeling too good. so i stayed in bed all day watching the twilight zone marathon. went home, went out to dinner at the outback & got this awesome drink. the wallaby darned. holy god it was a good frozen drink. peaches, champagne, vodka, peach schnapps, & fruit juice. very girly, very good. tomorrow i’m going out to the liquor store to get some peach schnapps & some more champagne. i might even buy a blender since i’m considering becoming a professional alcoholic. well, my dad was drunk at dinner, my mom got pissed off at him, then he got pissed off. we go home to open presents & have cake & he passes out on the couch. i dunno what it is about birthdays but i’m never all that happy for them. well & some weird shit always happens new year’s eve, although this time nothing really did.

onward, i had to go back out again to the bars to work my birthday freebies. went to a sports bar as not too many places were open & i went to the bar & asked for a free drink because it was my birthday. the bartender didn’t even ask me to prove it & i got the free drink. i should try this more often. of course, then they will ask me to prove it. yeah. then it was off to smoke some doobie & eventually make my way home.

so there’s the summary of the past few days. i couldn’t even make it funny, i know. it’s no laughing matter though. see, 21 was the last birthday to really look forward to. what happens now? i turn 25 & get lowered insurance & i can rent a car anywhere without any problems. then there’s 30, when life is over. then you just keep on getting older until you get to say, “god i’m fucking 50, i’ve been alive for half a century & i’m old.” & the magic 100 if you even live to be that old. you’re drooling & pissing on yourself, you can’t walk, & most of your organs have already given out. they might put you on the local news for that special birthday.