Archive for February, 2002

February 13, 2002 0

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i don’t trust ups. yet again, in times when i’m in most need of sleep the ups man knocks on my door to ask if i’ll sign for someone else’s packages. god dammit. a few days ago they knocked on the door when i was sleeping & i had no clothes on so i had to jump out of bed & put clothes on, & right before i open the door he goes, oops, wrong place. anyway, the whole leaving of packages with neighbors can be kinda shady. i guess it’s better than having to drive out to ups if you’ve missed it for 3 days in a row, but what if you & your neighbors are mortal enemies & they leave a package with them? that could be a big problem. even if you & your neighbors don’t have any beef, who’s to say the person in question wont peek at your package (i uh, might have uh, done that once) or decides to throw it around & break it. i dunno man, i dunno. well speak of the devil, my neighbor just came over to pick it up. the only contact i have with my neighbors is through the delivering of packages. hmm.

anyone realize how busy this week is? first off you have today which the chinese new year & fat tuesday. i don’t know what fat tuesday is, except that it’s something related to mardi gras (i don’t know what that really is either) & you’re supposed to get really drunk & get beads & show boobs. someone said something about donuts. sounds pretty cool if you ask me. all i know is, i’m supposed to go out to the bars to get sloshed & i dunno if i will. drinking holidays always make me feel guilty cuz i’m usually not drinking. imagine that. anyway, tomorrow is ash wednesday. i don’t know much about that either except silly people walk around with dirt on their foreheads. then of course we have thursday & i will not speak of that day. die. even though this is not a big drinking holiday such as mardi gras, st. patrick’s day, or new year’s, i’ve made sure to stock up on champagne so i can get good & toasted. then there’s friday. yes. that’s it. i guess ash wednesday was when our buddy jc dawg died. i really don’t care, nor do i want to care. all i know is that we are required to go to class that day which is no good. maybe i can skip & say i was at church all day. “what, you want a note from my priest?”


good…

jodee

but i can do better…

rhiannon and bruce!

if you hate punogre, you might like armegro

February 11, 2002 0

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hello! i am happy & mellow & dandy fine today. i am now accepting applications for spanish tutors. if you are up to the task of proof reading horribly written spanish papers at 4 am then let me know…cuz online translators can only help so much.

mindy rhymes with windy & her page is back up & i am stupid

last night the power went out for about 5 hours in my neighborhood. but i live downtown so it’s ok. don’t tell anybody, but i took part in the conspiracy to take out the power for half the town so that i could a. go out to dinner since my mom can’t cook without electricity, b. put off doing my lame sunday chores like grocery shopping & laundry, c. bring my parents back to my pad to watch the sopranos & sex & the city, c. so i could put my parents on cam unknowingly for reasons i’m still unsure of, & d. so i had an excuse to keep my car an extra night because i forgot to go to the liquor store on saturday.

last night was wonderful, i got to watch the best of the newlywed game all night. i love that show so much & it made me happy.

the joy in my life has been reduced to: the game show network, days of our lives, cu-seeme, & bellinis. go me.


newlywed game + cuseeme freaks = happy

February 10, 2002 0

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this is a message for sigma alpha mu –

GO FUCK YOURSELVES & DIE YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS

yeah, well, so my weekend blew. let me tell you about it. thursday night i wanted to go out because hey, it’s thirsty thursday, i’d been doing mad homework all week & i wanted to go out partying. thing is, i had a science portfolio due friday. so you know i start working on it early so i can get it done & i can go out. but 10 was rolling around & i wasn’t done so i couldn’t go out & i decided to take a nap for a few hours. well, to make a long story short i spent my whole night working on it. probably about 14 hours total. i was still working on it at 11 am. my printer ran out of color ink after printing out 2937503257 graphs & i had to haul ass to the computer lab to print before class. basically i barely finished on time & there’s something wrong with me because there’s no way it should have taken that long. lesson i learned: papers & exams can be put off to the last minute. science is a whole other deal. so, i have to be in class all day friday & i’m like this walking zombie. i did get my mythology exam back & i got a 58.5 out of 60. really it was a 57.5 but someone can’t add so we’ll take it for that. i got a point off my tahtonka answer. that is not acceptable. so i’m assuming that the power of the tahtonka cancelled out the 1 missed point bringing my grade to what it should have really been. a 58.5. i stuck the exam on my refrigerator.

so, come friday night i’m out like a light on the couch for 8 hours. wow, my thursday & friday night went down the shitter. i had to go out tonight. candiflyp was playing at god awful sigma alpha jew & i hate that place…but whatever, i have nothing else to do & it’s a party, there’s beer, there’s guaranteed to be some people i know. well. those dickheads weren’t letting people in…which i understand so it’s no biggie, even though was on the band list. i figure i’ll get in eventually. basically i got ready & stood out front for an hour in the cold by myself for nothing. people trying to get into frats are assholes. i always wait patiently figuring that they’ll let in the pretty girl who isn’t being obnoxious. of course after awhile i’m silently counting to 10 because i am ready to start going apeshit on these retards. well, after an hour there’s about 10 people on the stoop & i’ve been waiting the longest. they let in 1 dude because he hadn’t been bitching & moaning. for fuck’s sake neither had i & i’d been waiting longer. finally the guy gets off door duty, leaves & says the doors are closed. to say i was pissed is putting it mildly. god fucking dammit i shoulda thrown a rock in their window. god i hate that house period & then they pull this bullshit. i am STILL mad. i came home all yelling & kicking the walls of my apartment with this look of death on my face. way to end my shitty weekend you fucking douchebags. jesus christ.

so i called up artfag & we hung out. i cooled down & i got to watch my beloved nasa channel & some crazy indian music videos. wow that was really fun. i’m so jealous of the kids in the dorms, they get cool ethnic channels. all i want is some cool foreign channels & i’d be happy. that & a good fucking weekend. christ. i think it’s time to get out & go to some clubs in a real city & have some fun for a change…

February 8, 2002 0

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i hardly ever get fan signs & the 2 i get a year are always these shitty photoshopped cam images of me. so i have to say this is the best one i’ve gotten yet. oh, & adelphia finally gave me my 5 megs of webspace. good deal good deal.

ok


this is funny

February 6, 2002 0

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wow, i think i’m a lesbian! let me explain this weird dream i had, then we’ll take a look at what it means through my dream dictionary. so i’m in my basement & there’s this giant snake in there. the snake is a friend of mine’s snake, a giant albino python named pandora. so pandora’s in my basement & i’m like, wassup pandora we need to get you out of here & take you upstairs. now, this snake is normally bigger than me & could eat a small child, but in my dream it was like pandora on steroids, so there was no way i was gonna drag her out. christ, one time she crawled under my friend’s bed & we couldn’t get her out from under it. anyway, there’s also this decomposing big black snake in my basement. i dunno why there are all these snakes in my basement but whatever. so pandora starts eating this decomposing snake which is pretty much mush by now anyway & my basement starts to flood. fast. so i’m like, uh, this is bad. so i go upstairs to get my mom. i’m like, there’s a snake in the basement & the basement is flooding with water…what do we do? well, it only floods about half way & pandora transforms from this big snake into some redheaded chick. & i’m all like ooooohk there buddy. & then you know my dream kinda morphed into something equally as fucked up, i’m sure, but i don’t remember.

now, lets take a look at what these things symbolize:

basement – subconscious, suppression, we may not have come to terms with our own sexuality & prefer to keep it hidden.

snake – snake is just oozing with sex: aspect of sexuality or emotional passion that has not been understood & the dreamer must come to terms with his or her more instinctive self. direct connotations with the penis. temptation, search for the spiritual, sexual act.

cannibalism – inappropriate behavior. *this was the best i could do since they didn’t have anything for animal eating dead animal of same species

flood – passion. uncontrollable welling up of emotion which can destroy our known way of life. cleansing process.

transformation of animals – potential for change within any situation *gee, really??

girl – attempting to make contact with the more sensitive, innocent, intuitive, feminine sides of ourselves. a fresh approach would be useful.

there you have it. it looks like i am a raging lesbian. well, either that or i’m repressing my love for men who wear diapers & other such sexual no-no’s. or i could just be dreaming about my favorite snake, pandora, who tries to brainwash me when i’m stoned.

February 5, 2002 0

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i made my spanish exam my bitch. this is the first time i’ve gotten an A & if he’d let us keep the tests i would have put it on my refrigerator. all i have up there now are some “drink smart” magnets the school handed out. party smart, it says…0-4 drinks. well. if only i’d followed that advice on friday. i don’t remember much after i got home & i passed out on my couch with my pants off. don’t ask me. but i found some cool shit in my pockets the next day. i’m actually surprised i wasn’t yacking all night considering how much i drank. i was still hungover well into saturday. i barely made it out that night, but i’m hardcore & i took some pepto bismol before hand.

my school is the devil. i went to get money out of the atm cuz i needed money to buy a book that i thought i needed for tomorrow & the damn thing gave me 50s. i don’t like having large bills cuz i feel like a criminal. so i go in to the bookstore to buy an $8 book & i’m like, man, i can’t pay for this with a 50. so i got another book i needed that i hoped someone would buy off the wishlist. of course i remembered that i needed a binder, too, so instead of holding out for wal-mart i spent twice as much because i felt guilty about the whole $50 deal. damn them. it was all a ploy to get me to spend $30 instead of $8. well, at least i have a 20 now. i don’t want to be the asshole going into a convenience store & buying a $3 pack of smokes & paying with a 50.

February 4, 2002 0

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well. all i can say is that each year the super bowl commercials get shittier & shittier. that’s the only reason i watch the super bowl & honestly i could save myself the trouble & download the worthwhile ones online. 2 years ago my parents & i went out to this super bowl party at this restaurant/bar thing to get some food & watch the game (commercials). we brought along numbered cards to hold up at the commercials rating them. this year we stayed in, but still brought out the cards. no one got a 10 from me. it’s kinda embarrassing, but i liked the britney spears generation pepsi one. i only gave it a 9 though cuz it was britney & all. my mom gave it a 1 & spouted off about how much she hates britney. so yeah, i only caught about half the commercials since the sopranos & sex & the city came on & that was far more entertaining. my dad had to go upstairs since we out numbered him & he would come back down to report no new cool commercials. so i’m gonna have to say that again, budweiser had the best commercials. last year i think they were better, but this year’s weren’t so bad. go to their homepage to watch them. my favorite was “cedric – bar.” my mom & i both agreed that the “respect” one was kinda creepy. they have an online poll & the one i think was the best is at the bottom. but the respect one is #1. call me a bad person, but it’s about the commercials, not september 11. you suck. i had to give anything september 11th related at least a 5 out of guilt. but yeah, go watch the commercials.

also, livian’s got a new twist on her page so go check it out. & thanks to her my posts are magically appearing on my page.

& hell, i said i wouldn’t plug lindsay till she fixed my link & she did & then i didn’t link her. so…bam! emeril style.

February 1, 2002 0

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so anyway, it’s februrary. february is a shitty month. first off, someone tell me why there’s that first R. it makes so much more sense to spell it febuary, but no, the person making the names of the months had to be difficult. of course it was probably once pronounced with that R, but shut up. so we have february the shitty month. well, leap year is kinda cool so we’ll exclude that. except people born on leap year because they only get a “real” birthday every 4 years. we also have groundhog day tomorrow which is kinda cool. i’m putting my money on phil seeing his shadow for an early spring. or not seeing his shadow. whichever one means spring. plus we get to see the movie on probably every cable channel & pay movie channel. that’s a good movie, i like it. i wouldn’t mind having that happen to me cuz i’d be doing some whack ass shit. anyway, lets get into why february sucks:

  • valentine’s day – the day i wish everyone in a relationship gets hit by a bus & dies a slow painful death. the day i shoot daggers out of my eyes to the hundreds of people carrying around flowers & getting kissy kissy with their hunny bunnies. fuck you all. for the 21st year i am spending valentine’s day alone. at least my mom gets me presents. oh, i’m not bitter.
  • black history month – i don’t have anything against this at all except i feel they got gypped being that this is the shortest month. i’m surprised women’s history month isn’t in february, too, since the man’s always trying to bring us “minorities” down.
  • president’s day – i don’t really give a shit about celebrating former presidents. especially with our current president. but my beef is that we still have to go to school. holidays where you don’t get a day off piss me off.
  • & finally it’s just plain cold. i hate cold, & february is a shining example of a really fucking cold month. well, with the exception of this year, but it’s still colder than say, summer.

yeah so february isn’t the best month. i’m sure i could think of traumatic experiences that might have happened to me during the month of february but that requires thinking & i have to go study. later fags.

oh my god i love this!

thank you sooooooo much!!!!


February 1, 2002 0

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i want a pet squirrel. i think they are the cutest things & they’re so friendly on campus. i don’t want a flying squirrel, i want a nice old fat gray squirrel, but i dunno if they make good pets. something tells me no, but i still want one. when i was younger some friends found a baby squirrel & they gave it to me. i stuck it in my aquarium but it was in shock. i thought something was wrong so i took it outside. the next day i went to look for it & it had frozen to death in the night. that kinda sucked. so i had to opportunity to have my life long dream come true & i killed it. that sucks. but if i could abduct a squirrel from campus i’d be happy. although i’d want it to be potty trained. i’d let it run around my place as long as it could poop in a litter box, but i don’t know how well you could train those things, so that just might not work. either way i doubt i’ll ever have one of those suckers as a pet, but it would be cool if i could.

squirrel

grr it’s that time for school to suck again. i got 3 hours of sleep last night & had to take a test today. i also have another test tomorrow so no going out for me. fucking spanish, i’ll tell ya. my exam is for spanish, of course, & on top of that i have some journal entries to turn in. & i also found out today that we have the return of the dreaded virtual classes. they are evil. & at least with spanish 1 the virtual classes replaced regular classes twice a week & i could sure use tuesday & friday off. but no, these are now added on top of quizzes, exams, journals, & homework. & this time instead of getting graded for participation, we’re graded by the actual scores. & that my friends, blows. i also have a paper due next wednesday & i have to turn in the labs that i’m really confused about next friday. sometimes the thought of having a job & being able to come home & not have to worry about doing more work in your spare time makes me think i might not be so bad off when the day comes.