Archive for March, 2002

March 14, 2002 0

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the last 2 months worth of posts that weren’t written on march 13th!

joyous of joys! my cu is back!! 1 final left to go, 1 lab portfolio, & then schoooooooooool’s out…for…summer! that next line, well, that is next year, folks. 1 year from now = me loaded & singing alice cooper very loud. anyway, time to “get cracking” for my myth final. & then i will lay the smackdown on my host. i’m itching to get back. can’t you tell?

yesterday on chickenlegs i wrote about going to the library. i hate the library. but i forgot to mention that every time i go to the library, i always have a fine. always. those bitches are ripping me off, i know it. they know i only come in once a year & they think they can fool me by saying i have a $2 fine each time i visit. & the idiot i am, i keep paying it, thinking i’m clearing my record. well. i’m on to thier little game…& they’re going down…

hello! it has been awhile, hasn’t it? i had the flu & i wanted to die but i didn’t die unfortunately & then i got better & then i was happy. what a great story, i know. anyway, i haven’t been motivated to update. at all. & my new host is as worthless as me, so together we’re just taking a butt ass long time to get things going. & i’m not gonna bother with half assed attempts at keeping the site alive (like right now) so you will just have to keep your panties out of a bunch for a few more weeks still. it’s the last week of class & i have a paper due & a ton of spanish shit. hi i really hate spanish!!! & then i have some finals to get out of the way. so stop bothering me. & go to the candiflyp site & download the party hoes video. it’s almost impossible to spot me, unless you know where to look. but it doesn’t matter, i went through & saved every frame i’m in because i’m so narcissistic. look out for the sheman surprise towards the end of the video. hehe.


i’m such a bad person. i skipped half of my wednesday class to watch days of our lives again. i feel so guilty since i only have this class once a week. but dude, you guys, today’s show was sooooooo good. so i don’t really feel all that guilty. but everyone i told this to laughed at me…

i went to hooters tonight. i love hooters! the creepy old dudes hanging around sucked though.

oh, & guess what? i’m going to the second annual drag queen ball this friday!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! i wanted to go last year…but instead a bunch of us got all wacky on the lsd & participated in a riot, so, you know, i didn’t get to go. but we did walk by the bus stop on the way to a party & some of the queens were hanging out. i was in heaven! so i am going this time, oh yes. lemme think…bars/parties or men in dresses. yeah, MEN IN DRESSES. even if no one will go with me (which i know i can drag someone out) i will still go. this is hardcore.

man, i had one bomb ass great idea for april fool’s day. i thought of it months ago & i coulda done it but no, hosting gets all funky, i get lazy, & well, here it is, april 1st. son of a bitch. i don’t know what to do now since i don’t want to wait a whole other year to pull this off. but i don’t want to tell you what i was going to do. maybe i’ll just do it later. it’ll be like, my 3 month old april fool’s joke. i was so excited about this! man…

yeah, well, anyway, I WAS IN A CANDIFLYP video!!!! hahahahahaha! it was so cool!!! i am so cool!!!

here’s where i post some more cool sites since there is nothing here!


the onion

buzztime <3 trivia!


internet gossip

uh so like i had a good weekend. & i have tests & stuff this week. & i think i’m getting the flu. & stuff. yeah. i’m slow, i know.

good news guys!! looks like a friend of mine is going to be able to host me so i should get on that soon. my internet also mysteriously started working again. so yeah, this is good. things are good. i’d work on getting things all set up, but it is that time of the semester i’ve been waiting all year for. BEACH PARTY! momma’s gonna be busy this weekend. i’m dragging artfag out with me. good times, good times.

while you wait ever so patiently for my return, go say hi to jodee & ogre & livian.

ok here’s the deal…i guess i am hostless. again. i also don’t have internet. why these 2 things always happen at the same time is beyond me. so you know i have to work all this stuff out. i guess i’m taking a little hiatus of a week or a few days or something to get everything back in order. if you unlink me i’ll cut off your balls. & i’ll update my cam for shits & giggles. i love life’s little difficulties. anyway, you can’t stop me!! i’ll be back in a jiffy! like, go visit other cool sites & buy me shit or something. kisses!

March 12, 2002 0

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hey farts & boogers. today i didn’t even have to use my a.k. i gotta say it was a good day. & you know what? today was a really shitty day for someone out there in the world. ha ha! so lets talk about today. first i had to get up at 1 pm today which was not good because i usually get up at 2:30 on mondays. boo. but i had to go to the bank & go pay my deposit since i didn’t do it last friday because i slept in. then i watched days & went to spanish. although we were assigned the horrible horrible virtual classes that like to mark your answers wrong if you don’t capitalize or put a period at the end of sentences, it was ok, since we got out of class after about 10 minutes. i also got a 50/50 on my writing assignment. thank you andy, my designated spanish tutor. i can’t wait for spanish 3 where i heard we have to write essays in class. this will be wonderful since i can’t even write correct essays at home…i have the spanish speakers of the internet correct for me. with all this hard work i’m doing in life, i’m gonna go far, let me tell you. anyway, when i went grocery shopping i got a dope parking spot. the place was full & you know it was all retarded & you could only find spots in the back of the lot. then some chick pulled out of the closest non-handicapped spot by the door & i pulled up quick to retrieve it. then i went to taco bell to relieve the craving i’ve had all week. the chicks in the back forget to make my order so they gave me an extra taco. uh…yeah so i think that was my day. sad how such minor things can make for a good day. i’m kinda bummed that i have to go do homework later since i did such a great job of catching up over the break.

hey go read stinking demon fighter’s entry in the guestbook. i love you guys sometimes…you can be funny. anyway, i decided i’m taking the mystery smell head on. at the grocery store when i was looking for lime remover i found incense sticks. i haven’t burned incense in forever & you know what? if i can’t get rid of mystery smell, i will win this war. i’m now armed with an array of incense, glade plug-ins, scented candles, & if i leave the door to the bathroom open…the faint whiff of toilet air freshener. it is so fucking on, bring it on mystery smell. i got patchouli too so i can smell like a dirty hippy while i’m at it.

March 11, 2002 0

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well i had a strange dream last night. let me tell you about it! ok, so basically i turned into a man & i had a wife. so i was like, ok, i want a blowjob…i want to see what all the fuss is about. so my wife was foreign & it was her first time. but no biggie, cuz it was my first time being a man. so we’re in the bathtub & i’m ready & yeah i dunno she didn’t know what she was doing & it didn’t last long at all. i wasn’t impressed. so that was my dream! my dream dictionary didn’t help much at all since they gave interpretations of orgasms, homosexuality, rape, & transvestitism, but not a simple blowjob. the whole transformation thing is a shift in awareness & a change for the better. or i could look at the meaning for ‘opposite’….you know, me being male & all. & that means a dilemma in reconciling a paradox. say what? being in the bathtub means i need to cleanse some old feelings…relax & let go. yeah so i can’t find the rest of the shit in this damn book. so basically i want to be a man i guess.

& in other news, the mystery smell came back. it was gone for awhile & that was good. i had the heat off & the windows open since we had some nice 60 degree weather. then it went back down to like, 30, so i closed the window & turned the heat back on. & the smell came back. maybe the flowing air masked the smell or some shit. but i’m pissed it’s back. it’s kind of mutated now too. we got the sautéed onion smell, but i swear there’s a hint of cat piss in there too. this is fine & dandy & all except for the fact that i don’t have a cat here. what is this fucking smell?? where does it come from??

March 10, 2002 0

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indiana jones ok. so last night was veg night & while flipping through my digital cable guide i saw that indiana jones & the temple of doom was on. hey, that’s a good movie, you know? those movies are things you’ve all seen & love & all that. it’s all good. i’m not gonna go into any deep theoretical analysis on this movie…& trust me, in my major i’ve read plenty on hollywood movies & core american values…but i will talk about something else. why was this movie on AMC?? AMC, american movie classics. the channel my mom watches when she wants to see old black & white movies from the 30s, 40s, 50s, & 60s. i’ve noticed this before on AMC…movies that i don’t consider appropriate for this channel. but then i started thinking, what makes a classic movie? if you think about it, indiana jones & the temple of doom was made in 1984. i don’t know about you but it doesn’t seem like 18 years since this movie came out, you feel me? & superman was what, 1978? these movies AMC is playing are around 20 years old. they don’t seem that old do they? shit. i am getting old. seriously guys, not cool. i have always thought of AMC as the channel that played old black & white movies. that is like the trademark of that channel. i suppose that after awhile they run out of movies & you can’t just keep playing them over & over again. but playing movies from the 1980s is just not ok in my book. TNT has the right idea. or TNN? TBS? channel 39, the channel that advertises “new classics” to categorize movies of the 80s. new classics has a nice ring to it. but i think we need a specific time period to categorize what is a classic & what isn’t. or just keep them separated, like the whole naming of generations. but honestly, if we say 40 years = a classic, i am still not going to sit well with the idea of movies like indiana jones & the temple of doom being called classics. if they try to do this with music i’m gonna get pissed. as a die hard classic rock fan (1960s-70s) i don’t even want to hear limp bizkit being called classic rock, say 30 years down the road. not when you’re still calling my music classic rock. i’m serious here, people. you want to see me go off, you just wait until they try to pull this on my music.

yeah, & on a side note i also watched pulp fiction. that’s a good movie. but i think AMC & i can agree for now that this movie is not a classic. i will compromise though with calling 1980s movies new classics. looks like time can change me…but i can’t change time. pfft, it all just comes down to being old. while you’re still stuck in your ways, the world keeps on moving & fucking your game up. i need a donut.

March 9, 2002 0

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happy baby i am an inconsiderate person & i am selfish. so i am punishing myself by staying in on a friday night. actually i’m kinda tired so i’m gonna fall asleep on the couch i’m sure.

anyway, i worked on the site a bit…well not really, see if you can find what i did. i hope to finish tonight cuz i am motivated to finish! but i say this now, see….& after my nap on the couch i might not be so motivated. it’s a wonder how so many great ideas pop into my head when i’m tired. but i’m too tired to do anything. then when i wake up i’ve either forgotten or i’m not motivated. it’s a strange strange world. i had fun on cu today so i have plans. yes, plans.

speaking of which…do many people get errors when loading my page? i want a count of hands here. raise them. i only ask this cuz in the computer lab i get this runtime error access denied crap & it’s kind of annoying. i don’t get it here on my computer, but sometimes a little error thinger shows in the corner. it bothers me that something is wrong. i think i know what is wrong. i don’t know why it’s wrong. but i don’t want to be in the dark here. errors? errors? anyone? so i’m going to go now, go look at these guys cuz they’re almost as cool as me.



drink it bitch

christilina, yeah she’s so cool…

March 8, 2002 0

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god i’ve been so lazy these past few days. i am sloth. i’ve basically spent my day lying on the couch watching tv. i hate being a woman sometimes. so instead of going out with people tonight, i invited my parents over to watch memento. hey, at least i had some human contact. my mom loved the movie, my dad was just confused. yeah, it’s horrible how unmotivated i am. if i don’t have anything to do i wont do anything…like not even small shit like read a few pages in my book or update my page. i need a reason to get out of bed or get up from the couch & i really don’t have it. i guess that’s the importance of my education…i have to get up & go to class so then i’m up, you know. & i can do other things. it’s thursday & i’ve only read like 10 pages in my book. i have about 100 more to go. i have nothing else to do but i can’t motivate myself to catch up on work. i guess i’m gonna go hand in my lease tomorrow, so that’s my kick start. it’s also friday & friday motivates me no matter what. well, at least motivates me to go out & get drunk like a good little college student.

anyway, i’m excited about moving to this new place, it’s really nice. 2 stories! woo hoo! it’s gonna be a bitch to move all my shit in though. as we speak i’m letting my roommates see this page & i dunno, i think they might be scared. see, when it comes to non-net people they think this shit is really weird. but yeah, it’s all good. who knows, maybe they’ll be like livian’s roommate & eat that shit up. yes. my other roommate is already hooked on cu-seeme. i love converting! dragging unsuspecting “normal” people into the deep dark e/n & cam underworld. but yeah, once i move in in august you guys have to buy me lots of stuff so they see how cool i am when i get tons of packages from amazon. anyway, i can’t wait! i think it’s gonna be a lot of fun. the only thing that kind of sucks is that i signed my lease at my current place for next year. they make you decide in december & i figured i’d still be living here. so i tried to get out of my lease & if they can’t sell it then i’m stuck with it. those jackasses were like, yeah we’ll make a note of it, but yours will be the last to go. there’s still 16 vacant units so you might still be bound to your contract after august. i hope not. but there’s still a few months to go so i wont worry. 2001 was the year that blew so if it was still 2001 i’d be crapping my pants cuz with my luck i woulda been stuck with the lease. i’m hoping 2002 does not continue the sucky trend of 2001 & i wont be stuck with this lease. we will see!

March 6, 2002 0

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i want to die. i want to rip my uterus out of my body. i want to inflict severe physical pain on someone. that would make me happy. other than that i should have my new apartment by tomorrow! it’s nice & not expensive at all! the guy i’m living with needs to go see it so we’re going back out tomorrow in the early morning (11:30) & i’m making him sign the lease. i don’t want to live in that other dump. gah. & if i hear one more crack about my internet usage, you’re gonna be in trouble, buddy. see, he doesn’t read my page so i can talk mad shit. i’m serious mongo, bring it up again & i guarantee i will find a way to humiliate you on the net. haha. right. so i didn’t do anything today except lie in bed all damn day & scream & kick things because i fucking hate my uterus. i don’t even need it.

they finally painted my door today. i was gonna bitch about that awhile ago, see, they only painted half the doors on my floor & i figured they would do mine the next day. so i waited. & waited. & it never happened. & i was kinda pissed cuz i wanted a nice new painted doo. well, i came home today & they were busy painting doors. i feel kinda violated though cuz all the doors in the hall were propped open. for all i know those dudes coulda snooped around & stole my underwear. gross. i wouldn’t be the least surprised if someone in maintenance had a sock fetish & broke into my place because i have like, no socks anymore.

March 5, 2002 0

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all right, so lets talk about saturday night. a friend from high school was up cuz it’s spring break so we made plans to go out. i just wanted someone over 21 to go to some bars with me. so he mentions that his friend wants to go out to some club in altoona which is about 45 minutes away. i think state college is about the same size as altoona population-wise, & hell if you count the students we’re actually bigger. but altoona is more of a “city” i guess you could say. i think it’s just more spread out & it has a lot of shady strip clubs. frankly, altoona is a crappy city & state college is far superior, but hey, you know, i figured why not hit some places i’d never think of going to, as there really is no need to go anywhere else besides state college if you live in the central pa area.

so we start the night packing 4 people into a truck. i was lucky & got to sit in the back, barely able to move my legs for the whole trip. well, we get there & the “parking lot” is one big mud pit up a mountain or something. i don’t know. so we park up top & slide down the mud trail while some hick yells over “hey if you see [verne] tell him to come out here!” & we’re like, uh, ok buddy. we go in & the place is ok. it’s bigger then the bars we have but it was just too…woody for me. it was all wood. it just looked like…wood. i don’t know how to put it as i don’t have much to compare to, but you know, i’m all down for trendy, hip night clubs (DISCOTHEQUE! hahaha), but you know, you work with what you can get when you live out here. my first impression was, ok, i’m at a high class redneck bar. there were the old dudes, the chicks in 1992 slutty outfits with big hair, the half mullet chicks in oversized shirts & tapered jeans, & the really fat men to name a few. oh & this is funny, one of the guys we went with was a, uh…big guy. his shirt read: “i’m big, you’re small. have a nice day.” right. so i just wanted to drink & people watch & maybe catch a game of pool.

people watching was interesting…there were some “normal” people. but there was also alabama, the skinny old redneck in an alabama shirt & cowboy boots dancing by himself most of the night. he’d occasionally go up behind some chicks who would always roll their eyes & turn the other way. haha. & there was the mullet, & mind you don’t let that fool you into thinking there was only 1….he was just the most prominent mullet who was all beefed up on top & skinny on the bottom in this gray tank top & silly black sneakers.

what really got me was the bathrooms. they had no stall doors. something is wrong with this picture. i would expect this out of a frat house…not a venue where you pay for food & drinks. it was horrible. thank god i wasn’t ragging. i think i would have cried.

i was glad to go home. rednecks suck & i try to avoid them at all costs. the place wasn’t so bad, & honestly if it wasn’t so woody it would be great for state college. the club scene here is a big joke & i don’t know why someone wont get it through their head that a big 2+ story club would be a major bling bling investment. anyway, i was spared from having horrible scary people hit on me since my friend was with me most of the time, & i even found a new drink that i love – 501 blue. oh good golly miss molly. yeah so that was my voyage into the “big city.” next time i’m going straight to the strip clubs. i’ve braced myself imagining what kind of people i’ll find there, but i’m more interested in seeing people i went to high school with get naked. what a sad state of spring break. this shit gets worse every year…

March 4, 2002 0

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oh yeah. wow, where have i been? i dunno, don’t ask me. i think i was doing school stuff or something. yeah that’s it. i spent all wednesday night writing this horrible spanish presentation. i’d like to thank my group members for choosing thursday to present because that meant we had to talk longer than everyone else. so my ass was trying to write out a 6 minute speech. in spanish. so that took me all night. i ended up getting a 36 out of 38 on it so hey that’s not so bad, huh? yeah. well, i was really tired so i took a nap. i like to take naps. i take them often. then i had to go out to a party. you know how that goes. it was thursday. thursday before spring break. i had to smoke the ganja & drink beast. oh beast. how i loveth thee.

yeah so then i went to 1 class on friday & no one read & it was really frunny cuz the teacher wuz like k who read? & every1s like LOL STFU its spring break. & my teacher wuz like >:O. then i went out to look for apartments. & i missed days of our lives & i’m really upset about that cuz that was the day shawn was going to tell belle that he’s the father of jan’s child EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOT!!! & belle was gonna freak out & shit. hahahahaha you suck belle!!! & brady is the biggest fag alive! go die!! yeah so did anyone catch it?? was it good? i hope it was at the end of the show & they’ll reshow it on monday. i hardly ever miss that show but i manage to miss all the good shit. it sucks. so right, we didn’t find any apartments & that was bad. & then i don’t know i did stuff for awhile.

then it was friday & all us rejects who are not only not going anywhere for spring break but are also hanging around this town decided to hang out & be lame. so i go over to this house & i’m locked out. i’m circling & trying every door & window to get in. i even tried to throw rocks at windows but there were screens on them & it didn’t work you know. i even got desperate & started yelling but no one heard me. & since i’m not technology savvy i don’t have a cell phone to call. so i head on over to the this residence hall commons to use the phone. those fags changed the price of a phone call to 50 cents. dude! 50 cents for a fucking phone call??? they try to make it worth it by saying you get unlimited minutes. eat a dick dude, why would i hang out on campus talking to someone for like 2 hours on a phone that’s breeding with disease. yeah well so i had 50 cents & my friends didn’t pick up their cell. so you know i had to be lame & go back to my apartment to use the phone.

yeah so i finally get there & i get to drink this guy’s rum since it was his fault i was locked out. we did lame shit like play cards. god i hate when people make up bogus rules for card games. i want to hit them. everyone realized the rules were gay & we stopped playing. so we watched e! you know what came on? that wild on show. if that’s even the name, i don’t know. either way, it was a special on spring break & parties in exotic locations. so here we are all sitting around an empty house on the friday night of spring break all stoned watching this crap. jesus, don’t you wish you could be as cool as me? i know, keep the jealousy to a minimum here. well, so obviously i’m not going anywhere for spring break. i don’t really give a shit though. i really do not care for what spring break stands for at all. a bunch of spoiled dick heads getting drunk 24/7 at commercialized, bullshit tourist traps & sleeping with anything that walks, picking up std’s & being fucking retards. it disgusts me, seriously. well i dunno, it could be fun i suppose, but i dunno, seeing that shit on mtv turns me off. i’m kinda glad that it’s butt cold in florida right now. have fun!!! i hope people get robbed & get alcohol poisoning, & some nasty fatal rash. it’ll teach them. people piss me off. ok i feel glad to have let that out. now where was i? oh yeah, being lame.

so that was my friday night. saturday night gets even better. but i have made up for my lack of motivation so you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear about my trip to the high class redneck club.

spring break