Archive for February, 2003

February 27, 2003 0

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dear god, these nicotine patches are giving me wicked nightmares. they said i could have vivid dreams & i was all about it, you know, vivid dreams are all life-like & you remember them when you wake up so it’s cool. but these are vivid nightmares & i wake up feeling all traumatized. so far i dreamt that someone broke into my apartment & was going to kill me, & that this guy i love had cancer. i mean, come on, what is this shit? but the sadistic side of me wants to keep wearing the patch at night to see what other crazy shit i’ll dream about. if it keeps happening i’ll write em out & make it a feature section. it’ll be like a crazy bad acid trip.

afghan rhi yesterday some chick came right up to me & asked to take my picture. being as narcissistic as i am i said sure & felt all special. i didn’t ask why she wanted to take my picture at first, so i started to think that maybe she was part of this lesbian organization that goes around taking pictures of girls & then makes some underground lesbian journal filled with “everyday chicks we’d like to shove dildos in” or something. so i asked (why she wanted to take my picture, not if this was for a lesbian journal) & she said it was for her final project & she was just taking pictures of interesting looking people. think of the national geographic cover with the girl from afghanistan. so that made me feel even more special. but then i got to thinking…maybe i should go around hunting down hot guys & asking if i can take their pictures as an excuse to talk to them, & then be all like, yeah it’s for class. & if i can’t score a date, i can make a journal filled with “hot guys i’d like to shove dildos in” or something. haha. actually, i’ve been thinking about getting into photography again. i really want to. i’ve been super impulsive lately, so i would be out doing that…if i had a digital camera. so there goes that idea. wow, this would be the perfect opportunity to shamelessly beg & cry for someone to buy me a digital camera off my wishlist, but i don’t have one on there & i’m too lazy to go look for one. but keep in mind i did tell my roommates that i have this website & that strange internet men buy me gifts…but not one amazon delivery has come yet. yeah, you know?

February 24, 2003 0

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no smoking!

sorry for the artsy fartsy camgirlesque cam image, but it just happened that way, honest! but yes, it’s true. i am a nonsmoker. well, until i relapse in a few months. just kidding. i’m a stubborn bitch, i plan to quit for good…with the occasional smoke every once in awhile while i’m engaged in sinful college activities. i know that’s not the right outlook, but you can go fuck yourself. i need to break the physical & psychological habit. then once i can do that, i’m confident in my will power to be able to be naughty every once in awhile, if say i’m out at a bar. of course, they say that one cigarette after months of being smoke free is what draws you back in & that it takes like 239057092375 times before you actually quit for good, but hey, like i said, i’m confident in my plan. but either way, this is kinda shitty cuz i’m gonna miss it. i decided this year that i wanted to quit smoking…i’ve never tried or had the desire to before, but i just realized that i really don’t like doing it anymore & i should just bite the bullet & go for it since i had this strong desire to quit right then. why put if off?

i’d like to thank my sociology of media professor. obviously i’ve known about the bad bad things that evil cigarette companies do, & how they don’t give a shit if you die as long as they make a buck & can lure someone else in to take your place. i know that we are all being seriously manipulated by the media & authority figures, & that capitalism is really immoral & greed driven & this really bad. i knew all this before i took this class, but for some reason i actually really listened. & started thinking. & it hit me. cigarettes control me. i am willingly killing myself & ok with that. & it freaked me out. & i decided to quit on sunday. it’s strange how these things happen. you hear the message, you go ‘yeah yeah i know i know’ but then one day you truly realize. it’s nice when it happens. so i strapped my nicoderm patch on my ass, stocked up on candy, & said I WILL DO THIS. i’ve got a month of definitely no smoking, while i think of creative places to stick these patches. i’ll work on the mental habit deal…no cigs with coffee or alcohol or other recreational stuff 🙁 while i’m still getting nicotine pumped straight through my skin…then it’ll be easier to wean myself off the physical addiction to nicotine.

this is going to be very strange. i started smoking when i was 15, & was a “real” smoker by 16-17. my life as i’ve known it has been as a smoker. i took the shit up in high school, & you know how high school goes. & honestly, cigarettes really go hand in hand with my lifestyle. i don’t really know the life of a nonsmoker. there are so many things cigarettes go with…fuck. anyone wanna place any bets on how far i make it?? i used to suck my thumb until i was in like third grade or something ridiculous like that. my parents said i’d get my own ice skates if i stopped. i stopped cuz i wanted those damn ice skates. i need some incentive for this, too, dammit! “but rhiannon, your incentive will be your health!” bite me, i’m really fucking healthy right now. motherfucker…someone in this apartment is smoking right now. it’s probably those fat chicks my roommate brought home. i hate them. i hate them even more cuz they’re smoking around here. leave my apartment you pigs! anyway, anyone wanna share their quitting smoking stories or tips or anything like that? as long as it’s not as corny as that nicoderm cd-rom i’m down.

February 23, 2003 0

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there are so many things wrong with that fucked up transplant, & i’m not even talking about the retards who put the wrong organs in her without even checking for something as trivial as blood type. first off, she wasn’t even an american citizen. that’s pretty fucked up that illegal aliens can jump the border to get medical attention. hey, if you live in a dirt poor country, is that our fault? i don’t know the technicalities of waiting lists, but i think there is definitely something wrong with an american hospital denying an american patient a transplant cuz someone who does not live, work, or contribute to american society in anyway gets their transplant, then leaves & goes back to their country. that doesn’t sound fair to me. second, 2 sets of organs were wasted, & not only does this chick die, some other people who could have used the organs get to die now too because, oops, someone made a mistake! third, & this one is great…she got another set of organs 2 weeks later. this goes to show that if you really need something, you can get it. most people have to wait years & years for organs & they usually die by the time they get them. true, this chick waited 3 years for her first set, but like everything else “fair” in this country, some people still get special treatment. & here’s the final kicker…the girl’s parents did not donate any of her organs. seriously, how fucked up is that? i don’t get mad easily, but that just flat out pissed me off. what a bunch of selfish motherfuckers, i mean come on. these people know the importance of organ donation yet they wont give up their dead daughters healthy organs for other people who might need them. i wont be surprised if these people try to sue the hell out of the hospital. god damn…i mean, shit, i guess i would be mad pissed if someone fucked up my surgery, but these people don’t have the right to sue for something they really didn’t have the right for in the first place. fuck everyone, this is pissing me off. if my organs go to waste in a situation like this, you better believe i will be haunting some motherfuckers.

February 21, 2003 0

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wouldn’t it be cool if saddam hussein had his own live journal? mildly amusing…it’s funny when people get all butt hurt in the comments section.

right, so it’s official that i make a hot dude. not to toot my own horn, but it’s true. i should seriously look into getting dyke spikes & taking steroids to beef up. the ‘roids will also help with my facial hair & my manly aggression that will just ooze stud. i know what bitches want, i’d be unstoppable. everyday someone’s telling me that i can grow my penis safely and naturally with this doctor approved pill that will actually help me expand, lengthen and enlarge my penis. it can’t be a coincidence that i’m constantly being told that now my penis can be bigger and longer, with a 100% money back guarantee. i could use a change i think.

February 18, 2003 0

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as promised…

i am hot

i am hot

i am hot

gee i sure do make a good looking tan dude…& with a little plastic surgery i could give mj a run for his money!

February 17, 2003 0

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oh my god i am so pissed off at my roommate’s stupid piece of shit dog. god dammit. he ate my fucking papier mache mask. that thing took forever to make & i was so proud of it. & he ate it. the dog fucking eats everything. the trash, the furniture, people’s food, his own shit & vomit…god he’s disgusting. he smells so bad & everyone hates him. he is a god damn bad dog & he knows it. he eats everything, sits on the furniture when he’s not allowed, pissed on the couch once, & bit my mom. god, that motherfucker is lucky all i did was scream at him & lock him in the bathroom instead of kicking his head in, which i wanted to do. & what sucks even more is that i’m stuck paying half the pet fee. it’s bullshit! i hate him. i’m thisclose to fucking taking him out to the highway & letting him loose so he gets hit by a car. he’s a bad fucking dog & deserves it.

for once i like snow! well, except for the fact that i’m stranded here. so the unthinkable happened…we had a snow day! it only takes 2 feet of snow & blizzard like conditions for that to happen. & to think i even had a test today that will have to be rescheduled. darn! & what did i do with my day? i found a picture of a weird dude, & played with it in psp.


weird dude

weird dude weird dude

this is what i did with my day. i feel like posting it would justify the fact that i wasted my time with this. i don’t even have anything funny to say about it. here, you think up something funny. maybe i should try that to my face myself. come up with some crazy shit on one side & fuck with people. i could have some fun with it. right. look for that tomorrow! i have to go write a cover letter for a company i will never apply to now. class is gay, too bad i have to go back tomorrow.

February 14, 2003 0

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i’d like to wish a happy valentine’s day to all the girls who got their period today. like me. my date doesn’t have a penis, so it’s not like it matters at all, but shit, this was real crappy timing. i’m actually not bitter about being utterly alone, of course i didn’t see any stupid couples & chicks walking around with flowers, but i just had to ride the crimson wave didn’t i. i’m still gonna have a…trippy time tonight though. this will be the best valentine’s day ever! i’m gonna have a lot more fun than those lame stupid couples who will be doing stupid lame gay stuff.


nay

& nay’s gonna be my valentine again this year.

anyway, GUESS WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?! i went to see THE PENIS MONOLOGUES!!! yes, be jealous. after seeing the vagina monologues i said to myself, boy oh boy, i’d love to see the penis monologues! & 2 years later my dream came true. it wasn’t a big production cuz it was put on by the theater department, but it was definitely very funny. & the vagina monologues were real like…girly. all emotional & serious & all “my vagina is sad because it is repressed by society” & “no really, my vagina is not this ugly gaping opening, it really is beautiful, honest!” the penis monologues were so mannish. “i like oral sex” & “i masturbate a lot” & “if my penis was an animal it would be a giant python.” dumb, cocky (haha!!!!!), & silly. just like men. it was worth waiting in a cramped hallway with gayer than gay men & theater majors for an hour. theater majors are some of the most annoying people in the planet. my roommate was ready to kill cuz she couldn’t take it. i’d really like to see band geeks & theater majors battle it out for title of the biggest dorks around.

& here’s a story to conclude with. i went home today & decided to make pancakes cuz i was hungry. i’m mixing everything up & i see this black shit. so i fish it out & it’s a dead bug. & lots of little bug eggs or something. it was fucking wrong. but what’s really wrong is that a week ago i made pancakes & ate them. i didn’t see any black stuff…but still…

already i have urban legends going through my head…i can see it now…thousands of baby bugs hatching in my stomach & flying out of my mouth. mmm! if it happens, i’ll make sure to show it on cam!!!!!!

HAVE A GOOD DAY

February 9, 2003 0

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apparently i’m not good enough to be published in the collegian. i guess they aren’t ready to hear a little criticism & sarcasm. i guess i’ll have to stick with bitching about trivial penn state drama here. almost every day i have something to say about the shit they write, but i’ve taken the hint that they don’t care what i have to say. dammit, can’t nobody take my pride, can’t nobody hold me down! oh no, i’ve got to keep on movin’!

so, i have no idea what the deal is about my cam hosting, i’m guessing that’s gone kaput, so does anyone want to host it? pretty please with sugar on top?? let me know, & i’ll plug you so you can get 3 extra visitors to your site. tempting, i know.

yesterday i took a little road trip with my mom to leicester, ny to go visit the big tree maine coon cat cattery. my mom really wants to get some maine coon cat kitties because they have a very sweet demeanor, and they’re gorgeous cats. so we went to this place to see all the award winning cats & their litters. we can’t take any home yet because they aren’t old enough, but in 6 weeks we get to go back to take home our kittens. we decided on a boy & a girl, & we’ve got the boy picked out, but not the girl. my mom isn’t hot on the girl i like cuz she’s a bit reserved, but we’ll see when we go back, to really get a look at their personalities. i’ll post up the pictures we took when the film gets developed. even though i don’t live at home, i’m excited about the kitties, & i’ll be going home a lot to see them. it’s shitty going home now since there aren’t any cats there anymore. since i’ve been little, we’ve always had at least one cat around, so i don’t like really being there now. i’m itching to get my own cats, but i have to wait until i move someone for good. that’s coming up waaaaay too soon. i’m gonna be an “adult” soon. fuck this, i want to be 18 again. well, unless post-college life is better than college life (which most people say isn’t). man. well, i have 3 tests this week, 2 on friday. maybe being finished with college wont be so bad, at least i wont have to deal with crap like that anymore. i’m trying to make dean’s list this semester, might as well go out with a bang. hasta.

February 3, 2003 0

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loop

graphic by katy carpenter…please don’t sue me

i wrote my first letter to the editor at my school paper. i’ve wanted to say shit so bad for so long for so many things, but today i felt inspired to do it & i did, baby. lots of shit pisses me off & i’ll bitch about it here, or to my friends, or i don’t bother at all. but seriously, some times things really piss me off, and i need to lay the smack down.

so here’s the scoop. we have a “free” bus called the loop that runs across campus & downtown. people have recently been complaining because the loop is always too full, and people ride it for only 1 or 2 stops, when people who have to go far can’t get on because it’s too full. today some genius came up with the idea of giving people a certain # of free rides for the week, that would be encoded onto people’s id cards, so you would only use the bus when you really needed it. a good(?) idea in theory, but it doesn’t work that way, so i wrote my letter. this school is full of whining little shits, & i’d like to see the bus gotten rid of for good so they can go cry about it. if you’re here cuz you read my letter in the paper, can you at least understand what i’m saying? yes, we do have a big campus & it gets really cold, but people are ungrateful & are looking for any reason to bitch & it’s fucking annoying.

anyway, since i had to cut it down to 250 words, i had to edit a lot out. this is my masterpiece in it’s entirety:

“Complain complain complain. I can’t believe I am still reading about the Loop crisis, listening to you people complain over something so trivial. Yesterday’s (2/3) editorial finally pushed me over the edge, after I stopped laughing. I used to work in the ID office, and while it might not seem too difficult to encode more stuff onto a card that’s already encoded in the first place, you try putting data into a computer for 40,000+ students, all so a few people will stop crying. Sure, it’s nothing like implementing the new ID+ cards for all faculty, staff, and students in 1998, but if you don’t think this is a complete waste of time and resources for the 4 people who work in the ID office, then you are an idiot. Oh, I’m sorry, these people’s time and sanity is worth sacrificing so that 40,000 cranky Loop riders wont have to walk half a mile. And who’s tuition will it come out of to pay for putting swipe machines in the Loop? You’ll have fun complaining about that, too. Or the people who have used up their free rides who still get on the bus anyway, who hold up the line fumbling for change.

When I was a freshman, we had to pay 40 cents to ride the Loop, so I never bothered. I had to walk from East Halls to Sackett for my 9 o’clock class. Please lets all take a moment to feel sorry for me. Lets also feel bad for the poor people in East Halls who were late for their Forum class because the Loop was too full to stop for them. The only people who “need” the Loop are people who park at the Bryce Jordan Center or who have class over at West campus across Atherton.
Want a solution? Bag the Loop, and only run the Link, stopping at the Bryce Jordan Center, West campus, and somewhere in between. You know, for the people who really need it. Stop complaining and be glad the University even bothered to give you a bus in the first place. I’ve ridden it long distances, I’ve ridden it short distances. I like having the Loop around, but you people are spoiled & deserve to have it taken away. It wont kill you to walk and you’ll even get something called exercise out of it which, a surprise I know, is good for you.”

i hope people get all pissed off & respond…hopefully there’ll be more to this story…