Archive for June, 2003

June 29, 2003 0

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well, as i’m writing this, my site is down & i’m pissed. i want to post pictures & stories & all that jazz. so we’ll just have to settle for this update, & pictures will come later. i promise i’ll tell the good stories & shit, cuz lord knows, i’ve tried to make the most of this trip. dude, i’m fucking leaving tomorrow & it sucks. here & there i missed home & wanted to go back, but now i’m like nooooooooooo don’t make me go back. there’s still so much i haven’t done. granted, i’ve accomplished more in these past few weeks than i’ve accomplished in my life pretty much.

did i ever tell you why i decided to come? i had this dream i flew to australia & i saw livian for a bit but i had to leave & i told her i’d come back after school was finished. i told her about this dream later online & we were both like, shit, why not come when school’s finished? now, if you know me, i hate spending money (trips = lots of money)…my dad even told me not to be a tight wad hahaha & i don’t like trying new things. i get shit scared riding the subway by myself in nyc & i wanted to travel across the world by myself? right. i tend to back out of having fun for whatever reason, too, sometimes. so the fact i just got up & came here was a big deal. i blame it on the class that changed my life. but christ, i’ve met some online buddies, real cool peoples of online buddies, & all the famous landmarks of sydney. & i’ve had heaps of fun, too! not only that, i’m putting my american studies major to use by observing a similar, yet different country. man, if i ever felt like a tool telling people in the states i was an american studies major, i feel double the tool telling people here. they’re just like, ‘oh…ooooooh k. you study america.’ man, i still can’t believe i’m actually here. i haven’t even left yet, but i think i need to come back again. there’s a petition to send me back to australia. sign it, & like, give me money for my “i need to go back to australia” fund.

wow, i’m posting on my last day here. & my site’s not even working. but it’s alright, we had a very nice night last night. we started with a pampering party at 4, where we did facials, soaked our feet, painted nails & all that other girly jazz (no, no naked pillow & tickle fights, boys) then we had spanish food & went to one of asa’s favorite clubs, home. we got there pretty late though, since city traffic was horrid. we were literally surrounded by hoons (sleaze ball guys who cruise around in their, what they think is “pimp” cars). of course, as there were 4 hot girls in the car, they’d all drive by staring & hanging out the window, while we rolled our eyes. you could tell some of these dudes had very small penises, by the looks of their cars. & the greatest thing is that they think they’re cool. it was fun, fun indeed. home was very cool. nice place, too. 3 stories, tons of rooms, a terrace, & a gorgeous view of darling harbor. if you are from state college, or any of central pennsylvania, you cannot comprehend the clubs here. our night life is a joke, so i’m impressed with the places i’ve gone to in australia. pricey, yes, but i’m still itching to move out to a big city even more now. i need it.

i need to see the world! i totally caught the travel bug now.

so even though it’s gorgeous out (we sight see’d on the shittiest of days) we’re here recovering. going out again tonight, & just because i’m going home tomorrow doesn’t mean i’m not gonna drink myself retarded. i still have $50 AUD left to spend. it’ll be a bittersweet night cuz i will be having to total blast living up my last night, but then… tomorrow i will be a blubbering idiot as i’ll have to say goodbye & get out of town. see, 24 hours on a plane or in an airport to go on an exciting new adventure is ok. 24 hours on a plane or in an airport to go home is not ok. fuck me, i don’t want to leave………………………………..


June 25, 2003 0

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well, i’m in sydney at asa’s house…as if you couldn’t tell. my last night in brisbane was fun. we had a bunch of people over for dinner & the boys made pizza with the works. they took me out to the lookout point on the top of a mountain & i got to see the city – literally. you could see all the lights & it was very cool. we drove past the dodgy parking area where people were smoking pot & having sex in their cars. nothing better than driving up real slow with the bright headlights on & freaking everyone out.

it was weird saying goodbye to everyone in brisbane cuz i’m like, hmm, i’m not leaving australia yet! but hey, i’ll meet more people here, no? anyway, today we get to go be tourists & see all the sights in sydney. we have a huge weekend coming up, too. i can’t wait!

June 20, 2003 0

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crazy beach shot

i fucking hate blogger, it’s doing this fucked up shit. is anyone else having problems?? like it wont post & gives me this page cannot be displayed type bullshit when i go to publish. it’s driving me crazy…

god dammit. oh i have so much to write about & so many pictures to post…but not nearly enough time to do it! i should be in bed right now since i have to go to the gold coast tomorrow. but since i’m such an internet loser, here i am. i’ll do a recap when i get home & i’ll post all the pictures. but for now you’ll have some snippets here & there. but what i really need to talk about is days of our lives. so i am totally in love with this character eric. he hasn’t been on the show in ages, but 2 days ago i totally had to see him propose to this whore nicole. again. i hated it the first time & i had to see it again. days is hot right now. but, seriously, when i was a freshman in college there was this one episode that i was dying to see. for months & months i waited for mike & carrie to have sex i fucking missed it cuz i could only watch on tuesday & thursday. but today i saw that episode. it was the corniest thing ever, but i saw it. it fucking kicked ass. i was squealing like a pig! i’m a little drunk right now, but otherwise i could totally emphasize how awesome this was.

but trip-wise (i’m guessing that’s what you want to hear) i’m having a blast. we went to the sunshine coast a few days ago & the beach was just amazing. we got there at dusk & the sky was a golden pinkish purple color. there was a rainbow in the sky & it wasn’t too cold & there weren’t many people on the beach. i frolicked through the water & it was totally a surreal experience feeling free & being in the sand with the water rushing up & the breeze… i might sound like a fag, but it was truly beautiful. i just felt so amazing & alive. i’m a total cornball, i know, but my trip here was worth it then & there. i don’t think i would want to live on the beach, but the feeling just being there was just…man, i can’t even come up with the words. high on life i was.


we also went to the australia zoo, home of the crocodile hunter. he wasn’t there, but i did get an interesting picture with a cardboard cut-out of steve irwin. you’ll just have to check back for that when i get home. i had to be touristy with the whole zoo thing, though.

so i’m only in brisbane for a few more days before i get to sydney. i can’t believe my trip is halfway over. anyway, i have to remember all the crazy backward things about australia because seriously, i could go on forever. but i think it’s about that time to get to bed. i’ve got a busy day tomorrow. oooh, & letterman is on! yay, a touch of home. have fun going to work or sitting online all day jerking off…whatever it is you freaks do!

June 19, 2003 0

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me a tourist?

well hello! it’s been awhile huh? i guess i’ve been too busy hitting strip clubs, gambling, drinking, shopping, & all that other hedonistic shit to report back to you. & let me tell you, i’m staying with some pretty seedy people who think tax evasion is cool & work at strip clubs & have mysterious giant green dildos lying around. so the strip club thing, lets get this out right now…I GOT A LAP DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, i had a naked woman rub her titties in my face. the best part is that i didn’t even pay for it! this dude who works for the “gentlemen’s club” bought me a lap dance, a drink & a cigar. i was freaking out about the cigar though since i needed a cuban since we can’t smoke those at home. & all because i amused him by saying “ass” with my funny american accent. that was an interesting night indeed. i think i need to start a strip club around the world type deal since i’ve seen the naked boys dance at the mint club in canada, & some chicks at the velvet cigar in australia. right.

casino time

look at me waste my money on the 1 cent slots! or pokies as they call them here

so last night we hit the very american bar place for karaoke. the only time i’ve done karaoke was when i was like 13 or something & on a one day cruise down to mexico. it traumatized me. but i figured i’d give it a go here since i’ve been so out of control. karaoke would just be another thing to add to that list. so i signed up for britney spear’s “baby one more time” & got rhi to agree to come up with me. i mean, i’ve already done it on the internet…so what if this bar is really full? but god knows there was a huge line in front of us & we DIDN’T GET TO GO 🙁 god dammit. i was drunk, & wanted to do it. i pussed out on videoke at school, but i was ready to sing down under. totally unfair. but i met liz. instead of going to the outback or checking out the coral reef, i’m meeting all the aussie campeople i can cram under my belt. speaking of which, the apocalypse is coming. june 24th? think. we’re meeting up with the third & final rhiannon. it’s gonna be out of control.

today we go up to the sunshine coast? i dunno, it’s the beach, but the weather here is cold. it’s like 50 degrees. while i’ll agree it’s a bit chilly, everyone here are a bunch of babies. they should try one of my winters. a light sweater’s not gonna cut it! haha. anyway, tomorrow i get to go to the zoo & hold a greasy koala & get my picture taken with steve irwin. it amazes me how much this dude is on tv here. i can totally see how they use the crocodile hunter as some cheesy “this is how australians are” marketing to us in america, but christ, you’d think he wouldn’t be marketed here. but he is. on the whopping 5 channels of tv. the primitive ways of the aussie people are starting to get to me. 5 channels?!?!?!?!?! people don’t really have cable here! i’ve started to get into big brother. granted, you kind of have to if you want to watch tv. it’s a bit ridiculous. but uh, i’m glad jo got kicked out…that dirty little whore. saxton you’re a fucking bitch stop crying about it. & goooo daniel!

i am psycho now in interweb news, i hope you are all following elimination online because i know i’m not. but i’m hanging out with a fellow contestant so it’s like cool & shit. & because rhi & i have done nothing but talk about our met nay obsession since we’ve got here, i bought her crazy sequined butterfly top thing off ebay. god, i do feel creepy. the kicker is, i dunno how i’m gonna pay since i haven’t used paypal in a year i need to reverify or some shit. it’s not like i have my check book here to add an account or anything, or the time to do it on my credit card & wait for my statement. oops!

i love christilina. yeah she’s so cool.

June 14, 2003 0

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GO FOR PICTURES!!! there’s gonna be lots’o pictures…

hi. i’m here. the plane ride was nowhere near as shitty as i thought. it wasn’t that full so i got the whole row to myself. i took sleeping pills & slept most of the way. but damn, i spent 30 hours straight travelling. so, nothing to really report so far. everyone is a-ok, & i’m thinking it was a good idea to come. & tonight i get to see naked ladies. & maybe the hookers on the corner. i think it still hasn’t quite hit me that oh, i’m in australia & hanging out with miss munted mess. oh look! there we are together on cam!! she’s just like i thought she’d be. fun! score another point for my good judgement call when meeting internet folk. i think the best is when you get to see your online buddy’s friends that you hear about & see on cam. it’s like, oh, i met rachel & i’m thinking, holy shit it’s you! i remember when you were rhi’s roommate! & hi mr. boyfriend, i’ve seen you on cam! haha, sorry i’m so lame.

girls night out in oz

dude you don’t know how excited i am to watch days of our lives. it’s like the shit i was watching in 1999 & oh man, it’s like i’ve died & gone to heaven. i totally just said i wouldn’t talk about days anymore in my last post, but i am addicted & have wasted 7 years of my life on that show. there are no reruns in soapland & it’s a blast from the past to see what’s going on right now down under. & i know what’s gonna happen! so i sit & talk to the tv for an hour. days fans where are you??? so besides days there are lots of things that amuse me here…just the things that are different. everything is so small! you’re not used to it when you come from the land of super size. but seeing mcdonald’s & 7-11 give me the sense of being at home. i even got new york style pizza on my first night out! only i would go to some foreign place & do everything i could do at home. i’ll do like a big write up or something of my adventures & thoughts about everything when i get home, but shit this is my vacation so i can’t spend too much time online! we have to go out & drink, of course, & sight see & live it up & meet more internet folk.

until next time… i’m outta here!

June 10, 2003 0

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oh, hey guess what? i got pulled over on friday. the campus cops with way too much time on their hands caught me driving around in my expired car. a coworker was with me, no less, & everyone from the housing & food service building got to see the spectacle & make fun of me. being petrified, i managed to lie about how i was too busy to get my car inspected & that i was really really sorry in hopes that they would let me slide. they did…kinda. i got a warning card, but the kicker is that i need to have the van inspected within 15 days or else i will get my citation. & you guys all know the problem is that i did in fact have it inspected & it failed. fucking rust holes. so i have no idea what to do. i’m leaving today, too, so what can i do? i’m leaving it up to my dad to figure out. i’m thinking we should duct tape the holes & give it another go at another inspection place. but man, i was heated when they nabbed me. they got me on friday, days before i was giving up the van forever. of course i was terrified to drive it back on campus but i still had special olympics to do.

i told my mom that if she wanted a 44-year-old retarded son in law, she could have had her wish. i got a proposal. the retards liked me a lot. it kinda creeped me out when they kept trying to dance with me, but i was a good sport. i volunteered for sports fest on friday & it was just like a big event with all kind of sports for fun going on in a field. there was also a stage with a dj, & me volunteering to do rhythmic dancing & aerobics, i got to dance up on stage. you had to see it. really. saturday was swimming. retards & speedos. you can envy me now. bowling kicked ass though. i got the lane with these adorable little old men. i loved them. imagine mr. rodgers with down syndrome & you get my little old bowling guys from butler county.

so anyway, i’m off to australia now. 15 hours on a plane from san francisco to sydney!!!! yes!!!! & that’s only one part of the trip! i hope i have a fat smelly person next to me & a screaming baby behind me. right. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GOING THERE!!@!$!!@!$*!1

ok i totally deleted yesterday’s post because i was wrong. i could have sworn on my grandmother’s grave that little zach brady was born over christmas. since i work so hard at work, i was able to find from several different sources that said the little sucker actually was born june 9th. why i was so gung ho on december is beyond me. i’m sorry, i wont bring days of our lives into my website anymore. but if you are a days fan, holla back. haha.

June 6, 2003 0

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for the first time in the 4+ summers i’ve worked at the id office, i didn’t show up. the god damn power went out yesterday morning, thus making me sleep through the most important part of my work day. it’s the kind of job where i can’t be late…i have to be there from 8 to 9. & this year i have to be there at 7:45! every day! granted i’m always a few minutes late, but man, i was dead asleep till 9 am. i woke up & looked to the window. sometimes i wake up before my alarm, but it sure didn’t look like 6 am to me. so i look at the alarm & that baby is flashing. i work with my dad, too, so god knows what him & my mom thought when i didn’t show up. either i was lying in a ditch somewhere, or i got wasted the night before & was too hungover to show up. now, i’ve had some pretty wild nights before & woken up all like, oh fuck, i have to make it to work, but i’ve always always made it. i only missed one class this semester, too, & it’s only cuz i had to. i’m like a perfect attendance machine.

& as you can see from my cam, i volunteered for the special olympics! god dammit, it sucked. after having to hang around by myself surrounded by retards because i couldn’t find anyone to tell me what i was supposed to be doing, i finally got stuck at the sno-cone booth. it was cold & i had to scoop ice. & the squirty flavor stuff was really messy. since i’m a clean freak now & i’d just done a load of laundry, i was pissed off. so i took the first chance i got to bolt out of there to man the popcorn booth. the line never ended & the machine would only pop one bag at a time. & if you know me, you know i eat popcorn constantly. i love popcorn a lot. & i had to serve it to retards. gah. eventually the line died down when it was dinner time, so i got to eat some of the popcorn. i still ate it even after having to squirt out the hard, bright orange butter. so that was my day. it wasn’t cool at all. not only that, they suckered me into volunteering at 7:45 am on saturday. i felt bad saying no, so i have to do special olympics all fucking day, since i’d originally scheduled noon till 3:30. i just wanted the free shirt, dammit. & i feel like there’s so much i have to do in the next few days before i leave. i think i might just be exhausted enough to sleep most of my plane ride. I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!!#!@!!!!@!!

SO, make sure to check out these sites because you will most likely be seeing me pop up on a good # of them in the next few weeks…


carrot cake


& of course this will just be out of control

elimination online numero dos

June 3, 2003 0

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i’ve been so depressed these past few days i can’t stand it. we’re going to have to put the pimp van to sleep. pimp van did not pass inspection, & it will cost hundreds & hundreds of dollars to fix. granted pimp van is about 16 years old & the arm rest/door handle thing on the inside of the door fell off & most of the bottom has rusted to the point that it’s going to completely crap out…but still. i mean it works. even though the emergency break light was on for months straight when the break wasn’t on, the breaks still worked fine.& what’s a few rust holes here & there? it’s not like pimp van is spewing out chemicals or poisonous gas. pimp van is toyota, he was made to be tough. but the state of pennsylvania thinks pimp van shouldn’t be allowed to live anymore.

i knew this day would come, but i imagined it more like: pimp van services me till i find a job. i move away to a big city. i don’t need a car in the big city. we take pimp van to the dump.

unfortunately, i have to completely change my life now. in one afternoon everything was turned upside down. i can drive my parents car when i move back home at the end of july, but see, i still need to get to work from my apartment all through july. & while i can use my parents car, i can’t have it. that means i might be taking the bus to work. dear god, why? why? there are some wicked freaky people on the bus at 7 am. & speaking of 7 am, i would have to be ready & at the stop by 7:05. i’m starting to get weepy right now as i write this. life is so unfair & i am being punished. why am i not living downtown anymore?? when i lived downtown, i was right there by everything i needed. i walked everywhere & if i needed a car, i could hop on the bus to my house. shit, i could walk to my house from where i lived. but now i have to take like 2 buses, or i have to take 1 bus & walk real far to pick up my parent’s car to drive it somewhere.

oh & you better believe pimp van had ridiculous road trip stories under its belt. that van was a party machine. we used to have van parties in the grocery store parking lot while skipping class…oh, it was cool, trust me. & while i decided i wouldn’t take my life into my own hands by driving long distances anymore, pimp van was good for driving drunk people around town. everyone who rode in pimp van loved it. with it’s “pimp mobile” sticker & tacky dashboard decorations & mirror hangy thingies, pimp van flat out kicked ass. i remember the time we drove home from philly, with dashboard dicky stuck to the dashboard, bouncing wildly. & the time the wheel literally almost fell off in canada. oh man, we had some good times. [edit] the time i hit the bar guard on the gas station pump & scraped & dented the whole side of the van was another classic moment…you can kinda see it in the picture! [/]

so even though my sticker expired at the end of may, i’m still driving the van around until i go to australia. i have last minute errands to do, & i figure i might as well bring home some of my furniture while i have the chance. i’m taking the law into my own hands, & i think if the cops try to pull me over, pimp van will go down in the most ridiculous car chase this town has ever seen.

good bye pimp van, we all love you & will miss you very much!!

pimp van