Archive for July, 2003

July 29, 2003 0

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i’d like you to meet satan’s little helpers…spike, emma, & bunny.

emma spike and bunny

i’m kitty sitting this week, & by next weekend, they might all be at the pound. they might look cute & adorable, but they are evil evil evil. they bother the shit out of you at 6 in the morning, & when you kick them out, they either go in the bathroom & chew through the strap of a tank top you really like that you bought in australia, or they vomit on the floor. all night they knock shit over & bang shit around & cause trouble. not only that, but i have to worry about bunny’s virginity. she’s still young & little, but i’m just imagining massive spike trying to hump her. i mean, she has no tail, her goods are like right there in your face. we’ll get her spayed in a few weeks, but spike’s always sniffing around her butt, & i’m nervous. the last thing i need is for my parent’s cat to rape my cat. the shame my baby girl would go through…being raped & then having an abortion. her uterus is coming out regardless, & i’d rather not have the whole rape & abortion double scandal. so i hope they can hold off on the kitty sex for another week or so.

if they piss me off, i’m skinning spike & making a coat. he’s big enough. the best thing, too, is he used to be terrified of this rainbow duster thing. you’d shake it at him & he’d run like the pussy he is. he’s finally not afraid of it anymore, even though the girls weren’t scared of it ever. this cat is big & beautiful (we’re holding off on chopping his nuts so he’ll get to be 20+ pounds) but he’s a fucking prima donna. he squeaks like a girl & is afraid of everything. he likes to be picked up & carried like a baby, too, & it’s adorable. the little bitch walks around like he’s hot shit…& he wont eat his food until you mix in the good stuff. i swear.

so yeah, i’ve finally gotten myself unpacked & settled in. i’ve been spending most of my days cleaning & doing domestic goddess things. i still have to go back to my apartment wednesday to give it the final cleanup to make sure it’s all ready. i need to get as much of my security deposit back as i can, & then make this past year a distant memory. my parents said i could get dsl here at home & what they don’t realize is that now i’m not going to leave. i want to get out of this city, but i’m in no rush to move out of my house. as odd as that sounds. but i figure i’m gonna sit on my ass & do nothing till around november. i’ll watch soaps & clean. i’m starting to get into cbs soaps on top of days. so i’ll do that for awhile, & i’m figuring november/december is when my money will really start to run out, so i’ll have to get a job then. but shit, this is my last summer break ever (unless i become a teacher) so i need to extend it as much as possible. i might look for volunteer stuff, or like, find something somewhat worthwhile to do. my game plan is to be like this.

but what really baffles me, is that now that i have no worries, no responsibilities, no plans or work, i’m more stressed out. it’s like there’s so much i want to do, but not enough time to do it. back when i was in school, i had no problem cramming my work at the last minute & spending all my free time online or watching tv. but now i feel guilty that i’ve wasted a day doing that, cuz i’m not putting off sucky school work…i actually have stuff i want to do. make sense? it’s retarded. i need more motivation. but at least i’m getting some things done. like updating this piece of shit! maybe i’ll do actual work on it, but the only time this site gets updated is when i have a test or paper due, so we’ll see.

July 22, 2003 0

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you wont be hearing much of me for a little while. i’m moving this week. & i will probably shit my lid. even though i am about as prepared as i could possibly get, bullshit circumstances beyond my control will make me shit my lid. why oh why haven’t i made friends with steroid muscle men who would find lifting heavy furniture fun? gah, & the moving isn’t even the half of it. cleaning an efficiency…no sweat. cleaning a two-story townhouse… mommy 🙁 i will move back home with my parents before i live with people again. well, ok, i’m moving back home temporarily anyway, but like, if i move far away & then run out of money, i will come home before i take on roommates. too much stress i didn’t need. well, wish me a smooth move.

on the bright side, i can make the most of my time thinking about all the goodies that are coming in the mail! 3 years ago i got ripped off on ebay & i refused to ever use it again. but i swear, ebay is the devil, & the devil sure knows how to tempt you. i won a pink floyd lithograph from the wall for about $35 bucks. i love how ebay works, in that you get all pumped about “winning” something, & then you realize you still have to pay for it. but the thrill of winning…man. i can see myself straying from the path of the righteous man. i really hope i don’t let this ebay thing get it’s grip in me…

right, well, back to the vh1 greatest pop icons thing for me. when i saw the previews i was like, oh fuck, they’re gonna suck me into this…every night of the week no less. i don’t know how i’m gonna watch this & move. this is horrible. although it wont be as cool as i love the 80s. if that show is on, i’m fucked. if it’s a marathon, i can say byebye to my weekend. you don’t know how excited i am about i love the 70s though!! it wont be as cool, i’m sure…especially cuz i wasn’t alive then & the people they interview will be all old & shit. but i don’t care, i will watch it & love it.

anyway, i’m out.

July 17, 2003 0

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here’s a funny work story:

so this kid comes in to the id office today to replace a lost card, & i remembered him, because he had come in like 2 days earlier. he was kinda weird & i was sad that i had to help him again. so this is his 8th card, & it’s $15 each card. he’s all acting real weird & is saying something about aliens abducting him & superior genetics & dna & something about rednecks. i’m sitting there thinking he’s just joking around cuz he feels like an ass for losing his card after 2 days. so i’m like, not paying attention & trying to look busy while he goes on about how ‘they’ stole his card. at this point, i’m thinking this dude might not be all with it. see, chewbacca stole his card. they keep stealing his card at night & there’s nothing he can do about it. at this point i’m just nodding & like, wtf?? even though the new card process takes less than 5 minutes, he kept going on about this shit & kept asking if he could get 2 cards for when they steal it again. i had to nicely explain that you can only have 1 card at a time & i told him to keep an eye on it & not let anyone steal it. he then goes on to say he wishes he could go back in time & stop them, & that he could do that on acid. he starts talking about acid & asks if i take acid. being at work i say no & he asks if i do any other drugs. again i say no & he then says he doesn’t want to talk to me & walks off to the pnc cubicle in the corner to put the atm pin # back on his card. at this point the other chick in the office & i were all like what…the…fuck?? & i waited for him to leave to ask the pnc guy if the kid was just as weird to him. when i get to the office, the guy is already on the phone talking to someone saying “remember the guy who keeps losing his card?” i check to see his card usage history & he’s replaced his card 5 times in the past 2 weeks. the pnc guys think he’s just as weird. man. what a day.

i thought he was just weird in a trekkie sort of way…you know what i mean. but we came to the conclusion he was tripping his face off, or just did a lot of acid. reminds me to keep in check. i hope i have never come off as creepy as that kid. if i have at any point, i would like to apologize sincerely to anyone i freaked out.

wow. fucking weird.

July 15, 2003 0

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my mind is literally mush right now, i’m so tired & just not with it. & that makes me wonder why i felt the need to update this bad boy. maybe because this was such an interesting weekend. interesting indeed. & fairly eventful on friday. not so hot on saturday. but i totally accomplished a lot, which makes me feel like i’m doing something with myself. i volunteered for the arts fest, & i was pretty disappointed when i didn’t get a free shirt. all i got was a nametag & a volunteer button. i got invited to some volunteer party in october, but dammit, i just wanted a free shirt! but i did get to see all the artists, which i usually don’t end up doing, & i have to say, the banana guy was by far my favorite. he is really cool. i’m debating on becoming a banana photo collector. i want a photo bad, but i can’t decide which one i like best. so i think i should collect them all & hang them all over the place. it would be wicked cool & you know it. but anyway, the whole volunteering thing really wore me out, since i would spend all my time on my feet. i had to walk everywhere, too, & my legs really hurt now. i had no time to relax this weekend at all, which is kind of good i guess, but again, i didn’t get to play online & i wasn’t 100% for the nighttime activities. & i did have to put up with like, a half hour of my dick face old roommate. he finally paid me for the bills he owed from forever & a half ago, although he shorted me 20 bucks. & he brought all these random strangers up & someone clogged the toilet. i had to eventually take care of that after water flowed out of the pot. i have clogged toilets before, but never had one actually overflow. lucky me, i got to deal with that!

i did manage to watch the dentist this weekend. it’s this movie where the guy catches his wife cheating & he goes apeshit & like, tortures his patients. i have only seen this movie like 2 or 3 times…& ironically i happen to see this movie right before i go to the dentist. i had a dentist appointment today. i didn’t even see the real dentist, but you better believe i had that movie playing through my head. no cavities, though! & the dentist lady spared me the flossing speech. just like tests, i cram my flossing. i completely butcher my gums & make them bleed in a last minute effort to look like i floss on a regular basis. they must know. but they don’t say anything, thankfully.

so anyway, the reason i’m so particularly zoned out tonight is that i’ve spent all night searching for grants online & giving myself a quick grant writing 101 lesson. see, i might be working on this documentary project…actually, at this point, i am technically working on it, even though it’s just in its baby stage. i have no idea what i’m doing, or what this docu is gonna be about, but if my ass finds funding, & i can help brainstorm a killer idea with the producer/director/writer guy, it’ll be the green light that i need, & it’ll be big. but i gotta get there first. & i could use some help from you guys…

if you could do a documentary, what would you do one on?

& do you know about anything (some sort of social issue or something just different, unique or cool) that would make for a good film?
centralia popped into my head, & the amish devil’s playground thing, but i want to hear some fresh ideas of things i don’t even know about.

i’m curious as to what all you’d find interesting, or want to see in a documentary. throw ’em out in the comments, cuz i’m serious about this project. i’ll fill you in more as things go along. but i think right now it’s time for sleep so i can tackle this whole fundraising thing again tomorrow. oh boy! begging people for money, my most favorite thing in the world! wish me luck on this!!

July 11, 2003 0

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i’m really really lazy & like to recycle old posts, instead of putting time & effort into writing something new. hell, i didn’t even bother to find the pictures that went along with this… but yeah, it’s arts fest time, so i found this to be oh so fitting. i think i wrote this 2 summers ago? i don’t even remember. but i’m sure not that many people got to read it, so it’s like new anyway, right?

so. last week kicked off the 35th annual central pennsylvania festival of the arts. besides coronary inducing road rage, it’s a fun time where everyone who ever went to penn state, is at penn state, or is going to go to penn state gathers around to look at some arts & crafts. there’s also lots of music & performances, but i’m not cultured enough to enjoy it. but enough on the actual arts fest its self, it’s time to focus on the other fun activities the arts fest brings in – rioting. 1998 started off the trend of rioting & every year i wait patiently for the next riot. the 1998 riot brought $50,000 worth of damage to this humble little town & basically freaked the hell out of the cops. while drunk psu students were going ape shit reeking havoc downtown in “beaver canyon” the cops were probably ready to piss themselves as they’ve never dealt with a riot here. so, come 1999 the police didn’t want another episode so they came a little more prepared. but it was a fake out, no riot that year. come 2000 though, we struck again. nothing near as extreme as 2 years before, but oh yeah, we rose again. this time around there were questions on excessive police force. seems people were getting beat down with billy clubs & maced. i was even stuck nursing a friend who got pepper sprayed. my healing touch consisted of ice pops in the eyes. so, it seemed there was a trend going on. could it be? every 2 years an arts fest riot?? well, it seems kiddies, that riot fever was in the air. march 2001: our humble basketball team made it to the sweet 16. it didn’t matter whether we won or lost, we were going to riot. this was actually the first riot i’d actually made it to & it was really fun. really really fun. i had a blast. so of course i was hoping for another riot this arts fest.

following the trend there would be one in 2002 not 2001 but the ncaa tournament just raped that trend in the butt. riot fever in happy valley. well, 4 years after the first riot, it’s still a hot topic here. the papers have beaten the story to death, but look for any reason to write another article. & apparently president graham spanier, the whole state of pennsylvania police force, business owners, community, & students are sick of riots. they say it gives our town a bad name. i mean, come on, we’re not l.a. but anyway, this year i was let down. there was no hope for any riots. they brought in every police they could find in a 100-mile radius. kind of an insane sight to see walking around town. my personal favorite was the cops on horses pooping on the streets. the horses were pooping, that is. so i was sad. & i can only hope one day we can riot again. here’s my idea…surprise attack. third saturday after fall semester starts. that’ll catch them off guard. hope to see you there. or if that’s a no go, always remember that during arts fest week, go nuts & rob some stores say 20 miles away from downtown state college. there wont be any cops near by. happy rioting!

well, in the spirit of volunteering read: beefing up my résumé, i’m going to help out with the arts fest this year, instead of helping out with rioting. well, i’ll do that too, if need be. i like to get involved with the community & all. but yeah, i’m gonna be a sidewalk sales ambassador. what that is, i’m not quite sure, but everyone says it’s fun. & i get to look at the booths & meet people, so hey, should be a good time, right? then i get to strip away any pride & dignity, along with sobriety, & have one insane weekend. know that your weekend will in no way compare to mine. arts fest kicks ass.

July 8, 2003 0

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i think some kids saw me sniff markers. this day is dragging on & on & on & on again. sniffing markers sounded like a good idea. i feel really naked today since i left the apartment forgetting to put my rings & watch on. i also had no time to do anything to my face sans moisturizer. i was late today. so i’m like half running, half walking to work, & it’s all humid & warm out. i get into work & can feel the boob sweat dripping. like my hair is all frizzy & damp, i’m sweating like a pig, & really not attractive looking. so i decide to hit on this kid. well, i just pointed out that we had the same birthday & got all excited about it. i was like, “i have the same birthday as you!!!!!!!!!!! well, i’m a lot older!” way to go, champ. i’m only 4 years older than the strapping young buck, but i probably came off as this gross grandma lady or something. god, i love my job, though. ok, not love, but it is fun. i look for ways to have fun (at least i can still play pyramids & listen to the bus while sniffing markers & jumping around). i get really excited when someone comes in & either a.) has the same birthday as me, b.) has the same name as me, c.) is wearing a pink floyd shirt or d.) is just really hot. but no one ever seems to share my same enthusiasm. i waited years for my first rhiannon spotting, & finally, on international student day last year, a british rhiannon finally came to me. & didn’t seem to care that we had the same name. & people like, give me looks of annoyance when i’m like, omg my birthday is new year’s too!! come on, that’s a cool birthday. whatever. it’s fun though cuz i can always find something to bitch about & someone to make fun of here, & you really do get to see every kind of person. there’s some mad scary people, but also really cool people. i like to just shoot the shit with people.

actually, i’ve changed my mind…a bunch of whiney little high school students keep coming in. they make me hate my job. ahahaha but apparently they’re all pissed off about how unfair the university is by making them only able to eat in the dining halls instead of all the restaurants on campus. this is my last year doing this, i should just smack the shit out of one of them sometime. what will i care, i’m not working here much longer. haha. but i digress. there’s always a good time in here. we have these cheesy posters hanging on the wall of all these students enjoying their id+ cards. you wouldn’t believe how happy these people are to be getting sodas & withdrawing money. although no where near as funny as these teppanyaki patrons:


cheesy teppanyaki

yes, we took a photo of the sign out front of the restaurant in sydney. & speaking of funny sights out front of the teppanyaki, here’s asa with this wicked azn mullet. you can’t really tell, but in the interest of safety, we had to stand back.


asa and the mullet


id office
oh oh how i digress. so we have these posters on the wall (interesting fact: everyone is wearing a plaid shirt of some sort…& we have a white kid, a black guy, an asian dude, a hispanic chick because penn state would not want to offend anyone, & everyone is using the black guy’s card in all the posters). one day, this guy comes in & wants his picture taken next to the poster of the white guy using a copy machine. turns out it is the model himself! he was graduating or something & wanted a picture of him by his poster. fuck that, i would have been like, yo, i’ll give you $20 for that poster! it’s me! wow, so that’s my story. it was cool at the time, honest.

July 8, 2003 0

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facials

i totally need to get out of vegetable mode or i could just waste away my life. i was miserable coming home…not to mention i was on a completely booked flight back to the states, & then i had to come home to a disgusting apartment, & a dog. the dog didn’t last though, as he ran away the next day…all the while shitting all over the apartment before saying ta-ta. right. beside the shitting part, i kinda liked this dog. he would have been an interesting play toy for bunny, too. yeah. so i spent my first few days back being all tired & cranky, totally remembering all the b.s. i’d left behind. the jetlag got to me i think, cuz i was super stressed about i don’t even know what. & it was so sad the day i got 6 hours of sleep & felt so refreshed & good…because that was the most amount of sleep i’d gotten in awhile. i’m so hardcore, i went back to work the next day after i got back, & then the shit hit the fan & i was pulling all these extra hours. i almost wanted to freak out & scream, hello?!?!?! i’ve just been traveling for 24 hours! & i had to miss days…a good episode i might add. nearly pushed me over the edge.

sorry if i’m jumbled, i’m just writing things as they pop out of my head. i’ve had a lot of things going on (ok, not really) & i have to get my priorities straight. like how i spend my time at work playing yahoo games…oh, they took away my trivia, i can’t stand it! why the fuck did they do that??? yeah, & i’m watching vh1 right now. you know, not looking for a job for real now, or like, updating my site.

hey, my trip was cool though…more on that later. but i’ll say…i want to go back. really really really bad. i love those girls & i cried like a baby when i had to go. & then some australian dude came into work & i was like, nooooooo you suck! it’s no fun here.

oh, & july 4th was real cool, too. our fireworks are in the top 5 in the country, no lie. we had an awesome view from this apartment parking garage. being able to hear the choreographed music along with it makes the show tons better. i’m just bummed i was too retarded knocked on my ass to really get to say goodbye to my friend who left to start a job. oops. another fine example of getting my priorities in line.

my cat’s being a big pain in the ass right now, climbing right up the screen in the window. i had to get the water bottle so i’m ready to squirt. i’m prepared to squirt her when she wakes me up at 5:30 in the morning trying to eat my hair. i’m not playing that game anymore. but other than that she’s good. she misses the kitties at my house, so every day before work i drop her off at my house for kitty day care.

oooohwell that’s all you get for now, i’m getting tired. working early blows so much. someone once told me i’d get so much more done with my day if i got up at normal hours. that is such a lie, because my life is sucked away all day at work & then i come home, sloth-like by 8 pm.