Archive for August, 2003

August 30, 2003 0

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it’s 8:30 on a saturday morning & i’m at work. this is just wrong.

i guess it’s pretty obvious that we are just swamped at the moment…

so thursday i had an “only when you’re tripping” night, & i wasn’t even on acid! i really wish i was, because it just would have been insane. so i do the usual…go see candiflyp at cafe 210 west. we get there, get a drink, & a fire truck pulls up outside. then the firemen come in. no one cared. you’d think the rhode island incident would make people more aware of bar fire safety. instead we were joking about where the exit was (we were right by the door) & why the firemen didn’t have to pay a cover charge. eventually they made us evacuate, & i now know why all those people died in rhode island. frankly, people don’t want to leave their drinks. i was pissed i still had half a drink & i couldn’t take it outside the bar with me. that & i’d paid a cover charge to get in. well, we’re all standing outside & off the patio & by this point there’s about 3 fire trucks, police, & fire emergency vehicles. we never saw flames, & you could just barely smell something that was burning, but apparently something was on fire in the basement or something. the firemen kept going in, but there weren’t people running around & no one seemed too concerned. i was had my eye on my drink so i could run back & get it when they finally let us back in. well, we got tired of waiting & went to the bar a few doors down.

so i order my usual, a 501 blue. this drink is amazing, it’s electric blue in color & yummy. but i got it & there was pineapple juice in it. there was pineapple juice in my friend’s long island, too. we tell the waitress, thinking someone was using the wrong mix, & she tells us that it was supposed to be that way since they put pineapple juice & orange juice in their special sour mix. who does that?? so we’re like, uh…ok. my drinks tasted ok with it, but yeah…pineapple juice in the sour mix…only when you’re tripping.

& while we’re sitting outside on the patio at sports cafe, this car pulls up right in front of the bar. this old dude is inside & he’s videotaping everyone. he’s sitting in his car all shady slowly going around taping everyone outside. it was really weird & creeped me out. i was spazzing about this dude & hid from his line of fire with the camera. he was there for awhile, too. i guess it was no big deal, but i was freaking out to everyone all like, wtf?? maybe cuz i was drinking haha.

so after we reflected on our very weird night, & i come home & check my email. & of all days, i get my rejection email for my dream job in the ghetto. i wasn’t expecting to get the job anyway, so it was cool…i almost laughed because it was one more ridiculous thing to add to the night that i should have been tripping.

i’m interested in seeing how this night turns out, being it’s the first football game of the year, on top of moving in weekend & labor day weekend. it’s gonna be just a massive amount of people, so you better believe i wanna be out & about.

August 27, 2003 0

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this time there was no happy ending in the kingdom of atlantic city. pretty much how it goes is that new jersey sucks. we got lost in new jersey. & i lost my money. & new jersey just sucks. if you are from there & are all pissed off, then you are just in denial that you suck. but it’s cool, i didn’t want that $80 anyway. so like, instead of having some strange man just giving me tons of money to play with, i’d throw down a 20 & lose 4 games in a row. like, i lost all my money in 15 minutes. had to even the score from the last time. i said, “hey look atlantic city, i’m not making money. i’ll be lucky to break even. i am going to lose money, honestly. so can you at least let me have fun for a few hours??” no. 15 goddamn minutes. & then another $20 in 5 minutes the next day. but i got adventurous & tried new games…although still have shied away from the craps table. but to make up for my combined 20 minutes of straight ass kicking, i did find my love for nickel slots. joker poker…fucking bring it on. $5 lasted me 4 hours. it was the best 5 bucks ever spent. drink lady came around, too, so i was real happy. it was like real poker without the real cards & i won a lot! i think i’ll take it easy as far as casinos go for a little while. unless i get talked into heading up to canada, cuz it’s like wicked cheap to lose in american dollars!

August 24, 2003 0

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ok, sorry for all the bitchfest novels. i get so worked up. i’m a hyper little one.

anyway, i have bad luck lotion, & i may have cursed myself by wearing it today. whenever i put it on, something bad happens. usually it’s having plans & then having them go to shit. but i honestly don’t think i’ve worn this stuff & had a good day. it sucks because it’s my second favorite scent of all time. after calvin klein obsession comes bath & body works moonlight path. & the fucking body cream is cursed! my day already sucks & i wouldn’t be surprised if something else rotten went down tonight. you know, had they not had a buy two get one free deal at bath & body works, i might not have ever gotten this stuff, & i could have saved myself from the bad luck to come my way. & honestly, after today i’m afraid to use it again.

miss prude internet 2002

miss prude internet 2002
vs. miss nude internet 2002

miss nude internet 2002

find out who wins this tuesday at 11 on tech tv!

& if anyone can put it on the web for me since i can’t pick up tech tv on my tv tuner, i will love you long time…

i’m gonna be in atlantic city for a few days, since i’ll be rotting in the hell that is arrival week at penn state for the next few weeks. god, i love working 8 hour days for 10 days straight! though labor day’s time & half, & 8 hours overtime will rack in the bling. bling.

August 21, 2003 0

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i think i have lost faith in all human kind. whether it’s the shady business practices of greedy realtors, inconsiderate & irresponsible roommates, or the complete utter incompetence of adelphia…people just suck. really bad. honesty & “doing the right thing” have been flushed down the shitter. i might just tattoo sucker on my forehead to save myself the trouble in the future. i’m just sitting around getting ass raped by everyone in sight, because there’s nothing i can do about it! golly gee when pops said life wasn’t fair, he sure wasn’t kidding.

i got my security deposit back. & i got grossly ripped off. not just plain old ripped off, but here…see if you find anything slightly unreasonable…

southgate realtors can eat a dick

wow, i never knew cleaning carpets & windows for a living put you in the in 6-figure income range. $850 to clean the carpets, the fucking oven, empty the garbage disposal, & wipe off some windowsills & blinds (probably in white trash’s room). who knew the cleaning industry brought in such bling! i think i found my new career path! & i’d be willing to bet the measly $279 bucks we’re left with that the oven is as dirty as it was when we moved in. 6+ hours i busted my ass to get that place clean. & it was clean. there is no way there is over 800 hundred bucks worth of dirt in that place. fucking hell. & i have to figure out how to split this check, since i probably deserve at least $200 of the $260 i put in. but in all honesty, since the check is made out to more than 1 person, i have yet another thing to stress me out. this is just ridiculous, i’m going to the realtors to ask for a more detailed list receipts. but there’s nothing i can really do, because this is a battle i can’t win in court…especially without any pictures. i got $400 back out of my $450 deposit for my first apartment, so you better believe that when i clean i clean well. & even as tight assed with money as i am, it’s not about the money at all…it’s the principle. this just added insult to injury. but with all stories there comes a moral. i know better now, & i won’t be getting myself in a situation like this again. so i’m not quite done with this, although i’ve gone above & beyond the amount of trouble it’s worth. i’ll keep you all updated on how this goes.

next lets move on to adelphia, who surprised me on the same day as my realtor, making yesterday a most wonderful day. check my post from april 14th to get the skinny on problemo numero uno with adelphia. blah blah blah they’re stupid & horrid business people blah blah blah. so lets go back to july 25th. i have to bolt out the door right after work & race down the highway to their office in the boonies before they closed so i could return my modem. see, they wouldn’t let me just disconnect my service so that i could stop paying for tv i wasn’t watching…i had to return the modem first. an inconvenience, sure, but whatever. i get there & they tell me this great news about how they now owe me money, since you pay for your service a month in advance! finally something going my way! until i get a bill at my house for my september tv & internet service. the brilliant people managed to put my new address in the computer, but were somehow unable to cancel my service. who hires these mongoloids? i’ve had to do something to my account 2 times & they have managed to fuck up 2 times. at least this story will have a happy ending. well, at least i think so. i called their office, but their operated phone service was having problems (you know, because i didn’t want to talk to a real person anyway), so i have not managed to speak to anyone. but i have my slip from july 25th, my last paid bill, & a mind to say, ‘you fucked up yet again. you owe me money. now eat my ass. thanks!’

August 19, 2003 0

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nice breasts it’s time for mall trips from hell part 2! i saved the best for last. now, i don’t usually talk about personal things on here, with all you gross creepy perverts out there, but hey. so i’m at victoria’s secret since i have a coupon for a free pair of undies. while i’m there i decided it’s about time i get a push up bra, because lets face it, you can tell a lot from my cam images, like the fact that i don’t have anywhere near say…nay cleavage. so the lady asks me what size i am & i’m like, ‘well, i’m kind of a B, but not quite…but i don’t think i’m an A.’ so she measures me (yes, i got fondled at victoria’s secret!), & to my horror, she tells me i’m an A cup. it’s like my world shattered, time slowed down & it was like all i could hear was “you are an A cup” echoing over & over again…oh dear lord no…i am an A cup. A cup boobs are like man tits. i think i always knew, but i was in serious denial. which is why i waited until now to finally know the truth. i officially have small boobs. so i spend my $36 on my little push up bra, but i still don’t have nay cleavage. maybe if i was a B cup, but apparently no bra can work miracles when you are an A cup. i must accept the fact that until i get knocked up & have painfully heavy, milk filled breasts, that i will never have nay cleavage. what a shitty day.

[edit] so artfag got me to do tech tv’s searchsperts, part of the show unscrewed. thing is, as of now i’m flying solo. so if you are cam chick who is really shitty at guessing things & wants to go on with me tuesday night around 11:15ish e.s.t., holla. [/edit]

August 17, 2003 0

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when did they stop making jeans out of denim?? i’ve been doing a little shopping these past few days, & i have to say i’ve been thoroughly depressed with the clothing situation. i totally scored at gia & co, but other than that, i’ve seen crap, crappier, & crappiest. i shop because i need things. i’m not one of those chicks who make shopping this big social event or who use shopping as an alternative to chocolate/sex/alcohol/whatever. i need something, & i go to get it. i’ve actually got a pretty big list for once…mainly professional work lady items. no back to school shit, it’s hello workforce! of course i can afford to take my time since i’m in no immediate rush, but man, i was looking for some simple trendy yet classy shoes & the ones i found that weren’t too ugly cost more than shoes i actually like & would wear for pleasure. so that put a frown on my face. i also have clothing emergencies…like my sneakers are on their last thread & my favorite jeans have a hole in the butt.

now i’ve always had beef with fashion…i still don’t know how you people wear these hideous clothes that are “hip” & “in.” i could go on & on about the sad state of fashion, but i’ll save that for a rainy day. so as far as shoe shopping went, i didn’t find a pair that even made me stop & look twice. i’ve hit the altoona mall, our mall, & downtown stores. pretty much how it goes is that there’s nothing left ‘cept the internet. so the shoe situation was no good, but i figured i’d at least get a pair of jeans out of my trip to the mall.

i love mudd jeans. mudd jeans were made for teen girls who have not developed those womanly curves. so even though i’m a tad older than the target market, it works out since mudd jeans should just be called “perfect for rhiannon” jeans. i’ve also had success with l.e.i. so i’m always guaranteed to get a good pair of jeans, after i wade through the god awful designs that those junior high & high school girls seem to love so much. so i know stretch jeans are in. hell, i even have a few pairs myself. but i didn’t think that i wouldn’t be able to find a single pair of jeans that weren’t stretch or made out of that cheap looking fabric that’s like supposed to look like real denim. ok i usually exaggerate, but i’m serious this time. i think i found some in the women’s department, but those are like, old lady fits. 3 stores i went to, too! i know the kids like this stuff (why?), but there has always been a regular old pair of classic mudds or l.e.i. this is bad! i’m seriously freaking out about this. i swear to god, i dare you to take the denim challenge…it wont be easy, my friends. & i tell you, i’m sure as shit not spending more than 40 maybe 50 bucks for jeans. my mudds look good, & they’re sold for around $35. what drives people to spend over $100 for jeans is beyond me. those fuckers better last me till i’m 40 for that price. the only reason i have to buy new jeans is cuz i get holes in the butt. my taste & my waist stay the same…i’d like my trusty brand to do the same. i just want a normal plain old regular pair of jeans…well, with a 21″ flare leg, but yeah.

jeans are now following the trend of coffee. do you know how hard it is to find a normal REGULAR PLAIN OLD CUP OF COFFEE? some of us are old fashioned & like simplicity. We don’t want to deal with frappuccino, light, dark, iced mocha, frayed inseam, whiskered, no waist vintage… now i have to go through the russian roulette of buying jeans online without trying them on…& that will only spell disaster due to my extremely picky nature. i really did leave the mall feeling depressed. i’m sick of never finding things i want & finding plenty of ugly things i don’t want. this is my calling to be a designer. i’d be better off making this shit myself. anyone who knows how to sew want to be my sew bitch??

please…someone help me. where can i find my perfect god damn pair of jeans at a great low price?

August 14, 2003 0

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wanted: straight female seeks really really gay male for good times

i finally watched queer eye for the straight guy with my mom last night after her raving about the show & saying how they should come fix up my dad. & the whole time i was watching it, i was thinking, damn. i need some gay friends. straight chicks love gay guys, & i am no exception. so that is what is missing in my life. & jai rodriguez. i have decided i want to adopt him. adopt your own queer boy! i want him to be my gay husband. & don’t think it’s any coincidence that he’s the culture vulture. hello! i am so into culture. ok, personally i am completely uncultured & lowbrow & vulgar…but professionally i have this hidden love for beauty, art & all those high class things. not like it really matters either way…he is so adorable! i love him! every 5 minutes i would squeal to my mom “oh my god…i want to adopt him!!” i was seriously so excited about it. i want to be the only straight woman in his heart. oh my god, i could totally dress up like a dude for him. don’t make me dig up those pictures…i make a hot guy. i think i’m going to have to call the show & get them to my house asap. & then i can kidnap him & he can be mine!

man, now i’m so pumped right to go to players nightclub sunday night for alternative lifestyle night. there’s something wrong with my stupid friends who never want to go with me. gay night at players tops anything else this town has to offer. well, except for the psu drag ball…lordy that was fun! i never told you guys how that went, huh? well, the highlight of my night, after guys as dolls (which i highly recommend checking out), was dancing with the guy in the full out turquoise vegas showgirl outfit. i can’t tell you how sad i was that they didn’t have the 3rd annual ball last year. with the lack of fun gay events & the lack of interest my friends have in accompanying me to gay bars, how am i supposed to meet any gay men?! i need to work out this gay adoption system, because with all the sex & the city i’ve been watching, & queer eye for the straight guy, i need my own gay husband. the more flaming the better.

he’s fabulously gay.

wow…for being as single as i am, i have to wonder why i’m more concerned with finding a gay boyfriend as opposed to a real boyfriend that would buy me shit & take me out & have sex with me…

who cares!

gay chris!

how i miss gay chris

August 12, 2003 0

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man…bunny, or should i say miss slutty cakes, is in heat. she’s like in pre-heat or something, so she’s not howling for cat cock & the tom cats aren’t humping the doors outside, but every time she gets near spike she starts cooing & acting super affectionate. then she waves her butt in the air like a cheap floosy & spike takes cue & starts to lick her & bite her neck & eventually tries to mount. dear god, my kitten is just a baby! she shouldn’t be all horny & trying to get it on…she’s too innocent! my dad thought something fishy was going on in the kitchen, so we have no idea what exactly they’ve done, if anything. but bunny still tries to seduce spike, & he’s very interested in her kitty smells all over the house. so now i get the pleasure of keeping her in my room so spike can’t get to her. i’ve got cat litter all over my floor & that damn whore wont leave me alone at all when i’m trying to sleep. thank god spike’s getting his balls snipped tomorrow. the two of them are all making their love mating noises through my door. i have emma in here so the bun-bun doesn’t feel too lonely locked up in my room. bunny was hornier earlier, so there was some girl on girl lesbo action. but it’s cool, they can’t make babies. wait, it’s not cool…bunny’s all rubbing herself all over my bed. even emma’s trying to leave the room.

i blame the vet for this, too. they wouldn’t let bunny get surgery without a rabies shot first, & she can’t get her rabies shot till she’s 6 months. so i had her scheduled for her rabies shot tomorrow before i found out she was ready to hump. she’s not even 6 months old yet. it’s too bad spike’s gotta go in tomorrow, too. the longer we prolong getting him neutered, the bigger he’d get. we were aiming for a 20-25 pound beast cat. oh well, he’s still big as is. & then we can get bunny spayed whenever the vet gives the go ahead & i don’t have to deal with this house of lust anymore.

August 11, 2003 0

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i love asa

it’s asa’s 20th birthday!!!! well in some parts of the states, still…

i miss you!

my dsl modem got here one day after i ordered service. now i must be tortured by having to look at it while verizon takes a week to set up my account.

so, i found my dream job this week. well, my dream starting out job. i got all excited & wrote this kick ass cover letter for it. i like how my resume physically looks, but once you read it you see that there’s nothing worthwhile on it. but i tried. wish me luck.

i’ve been spending a good amount of my time casually looking for jobs. i’m only applying for the ones i like. eventually i’ll be begging for shit jobs i don’t even want & still getting rejected. but for now i’m taking my time. cover letters are the worst, though…christ. there’s a huge emphasis on writing with the jobs i’m looking for, so it’s even more stressful writing cover letters.

i’m also spending my time hunting down the chick who was living in my apartment. she owes over a hundred bucks for bills, & she has to pay for the hole in our screen & the lost mail key. she said she would take out furniture that she took responsibility for & help me clean. well. i had to clean a 3 bedroom, 2-story townhouse all by myself. her shit wasn’t out the day i went in to clean, & when i come back the day the lease was up, the furniture was still there. so i’m freaking out about all this, & scrambling around like a mad woman trying to get all the remaining trash out before i have to go to work in an hour. the realtors felt bad for me & said they wont charge, but i still want to kick this stank whore’s ass for pulling this shit. i didn’t have a car during this mess, either, which made things a lot more of a pain in the ass. fucking hell. i was all ready to go to where she works to threaten her for my money, but i didn’t have a car to get out there. by the time i had my car, i find out she isn’t working there anymore. man, i was so sad that day, cuz i wanted to go in there sooooo bad. even though she said she’d pay me what she owes, big surprise here, she wont return my phone calls! & so i figure she skipped town since she said she was going back home. she probably figured she wouldn’t have to deal with me cuz she wouldn’t see me again. wrong. i will call every goddamn person with that last name in the state of pennsylvania to track her down. bitch, i want my money. it’s too bad i can’t get it sopranos style by beating the crap out of her. that chick definitely needs it. but yeah, i’ve got some leads. & once i find that ho, i’m taking her ass to fucking small claims court for pulling this bullshit. that’s a popular idle threat made by many people…but i actually plan on following through on this. maybe it’s all the judge judy i’ve been watching, or maybe i’ve been fucked with one too many times. either way, people shouldn’t get away with shit like that, & it’s time i kick some ass. can i tell you again how much i hate trailer trash?

so yeah, that’s what i’ve been doing with my time. i have a lot of free time & a lot of pent up anger.

& before i leave you, i must share this really freaky story. well, it was freaky to me. so while i was doing my people searching online, i just decided to look up my name on the u.s. search thingy…not like it matters cuz you have to pay to get phone #s & addresses & shit. but i did anyway. & i found something interesting. see, my last name really isn’t that common. & i guess my first name isn’t really, either, so when you throw a combo of 2 not so common names, you wouldn’t expect to find 2 entries. yes my friend, there are 2 rhiannon [my last name]’s in america…who knows how many of us are in the world…but that’s not even the half of it. in a strange twilight zone sort of way, the other me is 21-year-old rhiannon renee [my last name], & she lives in orlando, fl. & i’m sure we all know about my…slight infatuation with a certain reneé from orlando, fl. coincidence? maybe. fucking weird? definitely. i really want to meet this chick though. maybe once i’m through tracking down the chick i used to live with, i can stalk my alter ego, miss rhiannon renee. or maybe i can have nay find her for me or something. i can tell her the whole story of my internet stalking escapades & we can have a laugh. i’m sure that’s how it would turn out, no?

August 6, 2003 0

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my mom has some real issues with antibacterial soap. last week i found some at the bottom of the closet when i was looking for a place to stash the swiffer. excited, i put it by the sink in the kitchen, because i obsessively wash my hands. i’m not a germophobe at all…probably the opposite…but my hands just always feel dirty so i wash them. i was all excited to have hand soap in the kitchen since i always end up using dishwashing soap. so today my mom asks me if i bought the stuff. i’m all like, would i honestly spend money for bath & body works hand soap? & she’s all pissed off cuz it’s antibacterial. she throws a fit about how i’m helping to build germ resistance. i guess it makes sense in a way, but hell, i’m not the one who bought it. i believe it was her who bought it. she’s mad at me for continuing to use it & i’m just like, whatever dude, a superior race of bacteria is gonna wipe us off the planet eventually. but she’s still mad at me for making that day come sooner. so she makes me move it to the bathroom. we already have bar soap in the bathroom & i don’t want to go in there to wash my hands. haha oh boy, i just showed her the massive tub of soft soap antibacterial refill in the other closet. i took that shit from the apartment. i wont buy antibacterial soap if she doesn’t want me to, but if the shit’s free & it’s here, you better believe i’m gonna use it. ok ok i understand the point she’s trying to make…a mutated killer strain of some microscopic germ is going to kill us off no doubt…& by then we’ll be real sorry for helping to create this killer antibacterial soap resistant strain, but seriously, who gets that upset about antibacterial soap??