Archive for November, 2003

November 27, 2003 0

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pre thanksgiving dinner weight: 117 pounds

to be continued…

post thanksgiving dinner weight: 121 pounds

November 26, 2003 0

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fuck beer pong. not only did i lose this weekend, but i got sick. i’m surprised that after years & years of playing beer pong, i only now realize how truly germ infested the whole thing really is. you have 10 cups that aren’t washed from beer pong game to beer pong game. so every single person who plays put their mouths on & probably backwashes into the cups you will eventually fill with beer to drink yourself. & then there’s the ball, oh yes, there’s the dirty little ball. of course there’s a cup of water for you to dip your ping pong ball in when it bounces off the table, but when you play in a really dirty place & you watch the ball roll into a puddle of black liquid, you realize this cup of water ain’t disinfecting that baby. god knows how many diseases are on the floor of nasty frat houses, that are getting on balls that are going into your cups that have been drunk out of by dozens of dirty people before you. ugh. & that’s why i’m sick. i’m kinda repulsed as i’ve spent many a time thinking about this. a germophobe i’m not, apparently. & my problem now is, how can i ever play beer pong again, having realized how truly dirty it is? i love beer pong! this would also apply to flip cup, & almost any other party drinking game. i guess when you aren’t sober, you aren’t thinking about sanitary conditions. poo.

well, i have 24 hours to get back up to 100% for turkey fisting day.

November 22, 2003 0

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when i turned 21 my friend raj came here to take me out. today was raj’s going away party. he’s gonna go to india, good for him. we didn’t hang out all that often, but he’s a good guy & i’ll miss him. so here’s to you, raj. & for you internet folk, my story of the night is that i got stuck talking to a close talker for about 30 minutes, when all i wanted was a cigarette. i was backed into a corner & it wasn’t cool. later in the night he tried to get me to dance to crazy indian music. & on top of my close talker indian ordeal, i got into a discussion about michael jackson with this guy who rapes girls on campus. which reminds me, i’ve got a thing to say about that. about michael jackson, not the sexual assaults on campus. & p.s. i love storm. <3 oh, & i'm drunk. cheers! right, so my thoughts on michael jackson…well not so much about him, more about the situation. who the fuck in their right mind would let their child sleepover at michael jackson’s place? seriously. you must really hate your kid to do that. they have child protective services for parents who let their kids play with michael jackson. then again, these parents could be using their kids as a way to make millions of dollars, hoping to get an out of court settlement like with the last molestation charges. so in either scenario, whether they’re just that stupid to let their kid play with michael jackson under no impression that there might be something wrong with that, or they’re just that money-grubbing that they’ve come up with this scheme to accuse him of molestation when he did nothing wrong, they are horrible horrible parents. that’s all i really wanted to share.

November 20, 2003 0

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women of walmart naked

yeah, so maybe it’s just the wal-mart that i shop at, but when i think of “women of wal-mart” i think of some heavy set, middle-aged woman with a bald spot & hairy moles. then there’s the skanky girls who come from the trailer park. but like i said, maybe it’s just me. i’d kinda like to see those pictures. it might change my views on wal-mart forever. but i tell you, when i see “women of the special olympics” advertised, you better believe i’ll be getting my membership.

ok, what i said up there might have been kinda mean. but it’s ok, i had subway today.

and some really exciting news…i’m helping out with the centre county historical society’s stocking stuffer craft & antique sale! all this event planning is like little gold mines in my eyes, come job hunting time. but not only that, i totally enjoy doing this shit. i can’t wait to help decorate the mansion, & i get to head up advertising. well, distribute fliers & shit, but whatever. so that’ll be keeping me busy. i see a couple of local ip’s in my referral stats, so for all you people visiting who might be interested in this thing, we need volunteers!! or just come to buy stuff & look around. i don’t know what to expect, but i’m hoping to get real involved, so that means it will be good. adios!

November 18, 2003 0

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the internet is boring me to tears. probably a good thing, it should get me motivated to do other things, but i doubt i will due to the weather. i hate cold so much. i wish we could hibernate. how great would it be to just sleep through the freezing cold shitty gray days of winter & wake up to a warm flowery spring. yeah, dream on. but in any case, while i may show complete lack of interest in “the scene” online, i have amazingly submitted 2 resumés in the past week. that might not sound impressive, but it is a huge accomplishment for me. i’ve also added to my little job file. so i have gathered like 10 or so more jobs that i hope i have the motivation to apply to soon. i’m so proud of how i finally wrote my cover letter template. now i can just change the name of the organizations & jobs i apply to, so i can pump those puppies out. anyone wanna find me some job links in chicago? for reasons unbeknownst to me, i have decided that i want to live in chicago. i’ve never been there & i don’t know all that much about the place, but i’ve got it in my head that i want to go there. so i need a job, see. i’ll take anything that’s not too shitty. i wish i could say that i’m only looking for “cool” nonprofit jobs, but i’ve actually got my head on straight for once & i know the best i can do is to find something that wont make me want to take scissors to my eyes after 3 weeks. wish me luck & like, help find shit for me if you happen to be in the chicago area.

hmm, i actually had the idea that i could make a little section documenting the jobs i apply for & the status/rejection letters i get. … maybe if i gave a shit about the site & more than 100 people actually read, then i would. i should just give up on my job search & the idea of reading my teeny bopper christopher pike book for the night & just go site crazy. perhaps, perhaps. we’ll see if anything changes here in the next few days.

November 11, 2003 0

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penis patch

i got this in my inbox today, & this is spam i don’t mind. i am sad that i don’t have a penis, because believe me, i would get this patch. did i ever mention how i wanted to be a crazy patch person? like get the birth control patch & smoking patch & those therma heat patches & stick them all over my body…& now a patch that enlarges your penis! shit, i should just order it anyway, regardless. i definitely think someone should get it & tell me if it works.

would i be insane to want to learn how to use movable type? i just discovered that there’s popups on my site, & i believe it’s from my comments. i kinda wanted to do the movable type thing for awhile until i realized how much work it would be for all the features i wouldn’t be using. but even though zone alarm keeps the popups clear on my end, if i could have a truly popup free site, along with comments that i had 100% control over, it would totally kick ass. so i’m thinking about the movable type dealio again. but if no one will help, i’m not taking the time to do it. ya feel me?

November 10, 2003 0

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fun with palindromes!

go! desire vagina! man I gave. rise, dog.

so today was the harvest festival! i was hoping we’d get a better turnout & that people would buy the plants i scored at the farmer’s market, but other than that it was good. i don’t know how the square dancing, story telling & games areas were, but the crafts had a decent crowd. the weather was pretty good being that it’s november. yeah, so this is the first event i helped plan, & i’m glad it went well. a teensy bit disappointed since i had this bangin’ vision in my head, but what can you do? & i’m glad i now have experience & a little more beef to put on my résumé. since this was my project & i have a new digital camera, i feel obligated to post some pictures…

kid eating donut

little bastard is totally cheating. it’s eat a donut-on-a-string without using your hands. but he was cute.

candle making

we had candle making. nice, huh?

pumpkin painting

the pumpkin painting was a hit.

gourd painting

gourd painting, too. when we got the gourds, some rotten ones leaked on me & i stank to high hell.

my face painting skills
here i am painting swastikas on a little child.

& if anyone was curious as to how my rap career is going, i was throwing down some lyrics tonight on aim…

north atherton trailer park represent so fuck you

when you dis the p s u

thanks & good night.

November 7, 2003 0

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snappys let me tell you how goddamn irritated i am at the crackwhores who work at snappy’s. every day around noon i come in & get a 16 oz. cup of 1/3 french vanilla cappuccino, 2/3 gourmet coffee to start off my day. they started advertising refillable mugs for $1 + tax. now, since i spend $1.05 every day & kill the environment with my styrofoam cups, i decided i could save some money with the tacky snappy’s refillable mug. now, every single day i come in at the same time & get the same thing. the same chicks are always working. yet every fucking day they either try to charge me for a new cup or ask if it’s a refill. the first week was understandable, but there comes a point where you’re just a fucking idiot. i slowly walk through the door trying to wave my cup around for them to see without looking like too much of a retard. & you’d think you might remember some chick in a hoodie who comes in every day at the same time with the snappy’s refill mug. but oh no, this is not a refill! i come in every day & take a new cup each time due to my obsession with snappy’s refill mugs that leak all over you. my collection is at about 30 right now. right. so i finally gave in & put a sticker on it. & you know, as much as i disliked the fat creepy uni-mart guy, at least he recognized me when i came in every day & would have charged me the refill price without question. i think the absolute last straw was today. i was armed with my sticker cup & i know the chicks saw me walk in carrying the damn thing. i go over to coffee station & there are no signs or refillable mugs for sale! hallelujah, this ridiculous ordeal is over! until i go to pay for it. “is that a new one or a refill?” ARGH3@^%!^$^!$#! MOTHERCOCKSUCKING FUCKCUNTASSFUCKSHIT!!!@#!!@! i am going to hold up that snappy’s & fuck it, i’m not wearing a mask.

November 5, 2003 0

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& for you tech tv’ers…that pixelated mess was not my real live actual breasts, for the record. as if!

i did not flash tech tv

November 5, 2003 0

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ok, so no more slacking off for me! i got xp up & running & i’ve got almost everything reinstalled, so i’m good to go. it was kinda nice not being so dependent on the internet. i read a book! & i feel like i did stuff. but never fear, i’m back to spending hours upon hours staring at my computer screen. although i still have a lot going on. i’ve been helping to plan a historical harvest fest for this sunday which has been fun yet stressful. i think i need to not let it get to me…you know, being that i’m a volunteer at all. i’m loathing this whole fundraising shit. but i’ve got other things on my mind. everything’s just coming up way too fast & i’m like, whoa there, slow down! & today, boy, today was so very…odd. surreal is probably the best word.

so i start off my day totally not feeling any motivation at all. see, i’ve been trying to contact farms to donate things for our harvest fest. i can’t reach anyone, & no one will call me back. i am terrible at asking people for things, even though this is a good cause. anyway, today was a gorgeous fall day & i was finally getting into the spirit, so i decided to hit up a farm for donations. i managed to score some gords, so i’m not a complete failure, but man, i felt so uncomfortable at that farm. they were kinda weird & i’ve decided i’m not good at interacting with weird people. i pray that over the course of my career i don’t have to converse with any more people who make me uncomfortable. ha.

yeah, so we have our meeting, get lots done, & all of a sudden, bam! we hear a bad car crash & run down to check it out. i’ve never been in a car accident before, & i’ve never been real hands on in accident situation, so this was pretty intense. it was bad. it was a dui who’d run a red light & hit an old dude in a truck. the woman had her daughter in the car & apparently reeked like alcohol. there were beer cans all in the back of the car. the old dude looked pretty bad, but all in all, i think everyone will be ok. the whole thing just made me feel nauseas…almost as if it was happening to me is the best way to describe it. i can cross off emt off my list. i couldn’t imagine that being my job every single day. but it was really good to see how people help in situations like that. restores your faith in humanity i guess.

right, so on top of that i got this very very strange phone call. basically i’m either getting scammed & will probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere or stripped of my life savings, or else i’m in for an amazing experience. i don’t quite know what to think, & the skeptic in me is keeping cautious, but i think i’m gonna go with this thing. i seem to have good luck when it counts, but i will be taking bets on whether i’m getting played for a fool, heh.

so i’ve got an incredibly busy weekend ahead of me, & lots of shit to do for the festival. i really really hope everything comes together at the end. especially since i’ll have to miss our last meeting. god i’m an asshole. but yeah, lots to do, lots to do.

& here’s a picture from when i went trick-or-treating on wednesday. we got some looks, but all in all, shit…we got free candy. fuck yeah. i’ll post a picture of my “but-her face” hooters girl costume the next time i put it on. i’m dumb & didn’t get pictures, but it was such a great outfit. it was so warm out i didn’t even have to wear a coat, it was perfect! i have never been hooted & hollered at as much in my whole life. i got groped, too. woo boy.