Archive for October, 2005

October 29, 2005 0

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oh my god i hate verizon. i don’t know what kind of shit they’re pulling, but they haven’t been sending my bills & they’ve managed to squeeze at least $15 out of me in late fees because of it. they’re more than happy to send me notices when my account is past due but they wont send my monthly statements. it’s bullshit! one day i’m gonna lose it & take a shotgun to verizon wireless headquarters. just you wait, you’ll see me in the news. this fucked up billing situation & the $9074237 in taxes & fees they charge me will put me over the edge.

October 24, 2005 0

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sparks fly, yeah right!

even in this horrendous “i want to rip babies’ limbs off and drown puppies” mood i’m in, i can still laugh at the absurdity of this picture & caption. i mean, come on…not only are we standing as far away as possible from each other, but you can see we are leaning away from each other as well! & this picture is so dead on! our “lovey scenes” are so painful looking & awkward. the other actors laugh at us because we look so ridiculous. haha. so, if you’ve been following my little acting career, we know that i can’t cry or do love scenes. it’s nice to know i can play such a wide range of characters from emotionless bitch to…emotionless bitch. yeah!

October 20, 2005 0

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dude, i bet being a male porn star is not as easy as it looks. i was at an audition this evening – for a student film, not quite the caliber of a porn flick, & i had to get emotional for my scene. cry, that’s it. well, i can usually get at least a trickle out in under a minute. but man, the pressure was intense! i was dry as a desert & sitting there trying to get emotional by remembering traumatic events. & they were just sitting there twiddling their thumbs waiting for me to get in my zone. i mean, i wasn’t even misty eyed. the well was dried up & i had to say, sorry guys, it’s not happening tonight. & of course as soon as i get home the tears are flowing, no prob! i felt ok with everything else, but i blew the last lines – the most important part! i should have told them to call me mean names & hit me to get me to cry. i’m that dedicated! so yeah, back to the point, i’m sure this performance anxiety must run in the porn industry as well. sure, you can get an erection any time you want, but just try to get one in a room with a bunch of people staring at you & waiting on you. so like, give those guys props or something, because performance anxiety sucks.

we can only hope that i’m the best of the worst, no? it’s worthwhile, though, for the practice & stuff. yeah.

October 17, 2005 0

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sadness

god what a shitty weekend for football. seriously, all of my teams lost. & with such an awesome game last week against ohio state, it really really sucked for penn state to lose to michigan with 1 second left on the clock. it was dramatic, i’ll give you that. blegh. the only good thing about this weekend was usc’s sweet victory. & it’s not because i’m a usc fan, it’s just that i hate notre dame a lot. it made me feel so good inside to see them lose at home in quite an intense game. & the storming the field thinking they’d won, only to LOSE was the icing on the cake. i was really hoping that all of the teams i loathe would lose, salvaging something out of the weekend, but alas, the cowboys won. damn you!

geez, you’d think i actually liked football…

October 12, 2005 0

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i really don’t think that i should share this, but it was very traumatizing, & well…i almost shit myself while on the road (literally). & after miraculously making it to my exit without diarrhea exploding everywhere, the bitch at the hotel i stopped at would not let me use the bathroom. i was almost crying & thinking “this is it. i am going to shit my pants. & i don’t know what to do.” & then god took pity on me & let me hold on for just a few more minutes until i could make it where i was going. that sucked so bad. like, so so bad. since i’ve been going to lewistown this is the third time i’ve almost had a doo doo accident. it’s not a good road for stopping to use the bathroom, & i almost always have to go #2 every night. & i’m so paranoid now that this will happen again, & one day i wont make it. & i really want to go back & kick that stupid lady’s ass. seriously, i should have shit all over her floor. i almost did! that would have shown her.

October 9, 2005 0

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hell yeah penn state!!!!!! we fucking beat ohio state, nice! it’s so awesome to be good again. we were out at the bar & everyone went fucking apeshit when ohio fumbled & sealed the deal for us. hooray!! feels good, feels good. even though i had to piss like no other, i had to walk through the pre-riotous beaver canyon on my way home. it’s surreal.

& if you get the chance, do see bat boy the musical. it is so rhitard approved. if you know me, you know my twisted mind & bat boy has all the things that make me happy. i will be nice & not tell you all the things i like about it, but just trust me. just see it, it rules.

October 3, 2005 0

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i had a great weekend! & it’s been awhile since i’ve been able to say that. hooray for fun & hotness.

& if you’re not on my buddy list, here is the brilliant away message i had up friday night that you missed:

DEAR INSANELY HOT GUY AT THE AUDITION TODAY: PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME SO THAT WE CAN ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. I AM REALLY SORRY THAT I DIDN’T FLIRT WITH YOU, OR TELL YOU FLAT OUT THAT I WOULD HUMP YOU RAW, & THAT THE CAMERA GUYS COULD EVEN TAPE IT. PLEASE, CALL ME. I LOVE YOU. YOURS FOREVER, RHIANNON.

P.S. I’M OUT DRINKING NOW, SO IF I DIDN’T MAKE IT CLEAR BEFORE THAT I’M ALL YOURS, WELL, JUST IMAGINE WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU NOW!