Archive for May, 2007

May 8, 2007 0

news i wish about me

By in Uncategorized

Hey, did you know…to lose weight, a person needs to eat fewer calories than she or he is burning?

Some of you may be thinking, “yeah, no shit, dumbass” but this is one of the TOP NEWS STORIES here in Centre County. I’ve been commenting on the news a lot, and I really think it’s because every day I check out the CDT online or CNN top stories and the stories get more inane and ridiculous. Until the next asinine news article, I will leave you some excerpts of news articles I’ve collected that I wish were written about me…

A woman in a wheelchair who swung knives and a hammer at relatives and police died after being shocked by a stun gun, officials said.

A woman pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in connection with a bizarre incident in February that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store.

A 22-year-old woman was arrested after authorities say she tried to hire someone to kill another woman whose photo appeared on her boyfriend’s Web page.

A northwestern Pennsylvania woman used her 4-week-old baby as a weapon during a domestic dispute, swinging the infant through the air and striking her boyfriend with the child, authorities said.

An elderly woman died Thursday morning in a freak accident in which she was run over by her own car.

A 53-year-old woman who claimed she received spiritual messages from geese before allegedly stabbing her toddler granddaughter to death was found not guilty by reason of insanity Friday.

A woman forced an 83-year-old housemate to smoke crack cocaine so she could steal personal information to get a credit card and run up more than $3,000 in charges, authorities said.

May 7, 2007 0

bizarre news

By in Uncategorized

This is just bizarre…

MILLVILLE — A man who won $11 million in a medical malpractice settlement in 2005 was arrested Sunday in the gunpoint robbery of a pregnant lynx from an exotic pets dealer.

William Bobbett, 28, and two accomplices forced dealer Ronald Derr to sell him the lynx for $2,000 last month, police said. Derr had previously refused to sell the cat without proper permits.

They held a GUN to the guy and then GAVE him $2,000?! If you’re going to break the law, why don’t you just go all out and steal the animal…

Oh hey, the site’s back! Now if only the photo gallery would magically start working…